| Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, June 18 ____________________________________________________ History: today, June 17 in 1815, At the Battle of Waterloo Napoleon was defeated by an international army under the Duke of Wellington. Napoleon abdicated on June 22. ___________________________________________ Bonehead Bail set at $10M for man accused of shooting into car, killing pregnant woman in Seattle ___________________________________________________ Q Computers are useless. They can only give you answers. --- Pablo Picasso (1881 - 1973) A man's respect for law and order exists in precise relationship to the size of his paycheck. --- Adam Clayton Powell Jr. (1908 - 1972) To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost. --- Gustave Flaubert (1821 - 1880) ____________________________________________________ At school Lil' Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." Lil' Johnny decided to go home and try it out. He went home, and as he was greeted by his mother he said, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly handed him $20 and said, "Just don't tell your father." Quite pleased, the boy waited for his father to get home from work, and greeted him with, "I know the whole truth." Johnny's father promptly handed him $40 and said, "Please don't say a word to your mother!" Very pleased, the boy was on his way to school the next day when he saw the mailman at his front door. Lil' Johnny greeted him by saying, "I know the whole truth." The mailman immediately dropped the mail, opened his arms saying, "Then come give your real father a big hug." __________________________________________________ "I'm telling you, Carol, I've never been happier, " Betty told her friend. "I have two boyfriends. One is just fabulous...handsome,sensitive, caring and considerate." What in the world do you need the second one for?" Carol asked?" "Oh," Betty replied, "the second one is straight." ___________________________________________________ >From Minna When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink. I was not so pleased. I turned to Mom and said, "I'm surprised at you. Don't you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?" Mom smiled and then replied....."I remember." ___________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ___________________________________________________ RutileQuartz ___________________________________________________ An applicant was filling out a job application. When he came to the question, "Have you ever been arrested?" he wrote, "No." The next question, intended for people who had answered in the affirmative to the previous question, was "Why?" The applicant answered it anyway: "Never been caught yet." ________________________________________________ Frank always looked on the bright side. He would constantly irritate his friends with his eternal optimism. No matter how horrible the circumstance, he would always reply, "It could have been worse." To cure him of his annoying habit, his friends decided to invent a situation so completely bad, so terrible, that even Frank could find no hope in it. On the golf course one day, one of them said, "Frank, did you hear about Tom? He came home last night, found his wife in bed with another man, shot them both and then turned the gun on himself!" "That's awful," said Frank, "But it could have been worse." "How in the hell," asked his bewildered friend, "Could it have been worse?" "Well," replied Frank, "If it happened the night before, I'd be dead now!" ___________________________________________________ A Bonehead award has been reported by Rock Cordell M. Goosby, Seattle, Washington, USA Bail set at $10M for man accused of shooting into car, killing pregnant woman in Seattle The suspect accused of shooting and killing a pregnant woman in Seattle's Belltown neighborhood refused to appear in court on Wednesday, and newly released court documents indicate that the shooting may have been random. Officers were called to Fourth Ave and Lenora Street just after 11 a.m. on June 13 for reports of a shooting. When they arrived, they found two people had been shot while sitting in their Tesla at a light. A 34-year-old woman, who was later identified as Eina Kwon and was 32 weeks pregnant, was shot four times, according to court documents. She was rushed to the hospital, where she was later pronounced dead. Her unborn child survived for a short time but also later died. The other victim was Kwon's husband, 37-year-old Evan Sung Kwon, who was also taken to the hospital but has since been discharged. On June 16, King County prosecutors officially charged the suspect, 30-year-old Cordell Maurice Goosby. Goosby has been charged with first-degree murder and first- degree attempted murder. He could also possibly be charged for the death of the unborn child, since she was delivered alive and died a short time after. Bail has been set at $10 million. "The requested bail amount appropriately reflects the extreme danger this defendant poses to the community if released from confinement. The defendant refused to appear at his first appearance on this matter and refused to appear for his bond hearing," charging documents said. Prosecutors say he has no local criminal history but was wanted out of Indiana and has felony convictions in Illinois. On the day of the shooting, officers on scene were quickly able to locate the suspect based on descriptions from witnesses. When they approached Goosby, he raised his hands and said, "I did it, I did it," according to court documents. When being interviewed by police, Goosby said he thought he saw a gun in the white Tesla so he responded by firing into the vehicle. However, surveillance video obtained from the Fourth and Blanchard Building showed "the victim's vehicle stopped at the intersection and the suspect quickly running up to the driver's side door of the victim vehicle with an arm extended. As he was running up to the vehicle, smoke could be seen coming from either the handgun he was firing or from the glass window of the vehicle being shattered," court documents detailed. Several witnesses and 911 callers were able to identify Goosby as the one firing the shots, court documents said. According to court documents, Goosby told officers that he had a history of needing mental health care, and responding detectives noted that he appeared to be in some sort of crisis when he was arrested. Goosby is a convicted felon and is unable to legally possess a weapon, according to court documents. Court documents say the handgun used in the shooting of the couple was reported stolen out of Lakewood. ___________________________________________________ Redneck Pilot Your cross country flight plan uses flea markets as check points. You think sectional charts should show trailer parks. Your toothpick keeps poking your mike. You've thought about just taxiing around the airport drinking beer. You use a Purina feed sack for a wind sock. You constantly confuse Beechcraft with Beechnut. You think GPS stands for Going Perfectly Straight. You refer to flying in formation as "We got us a convoy". You have an orange airplane with a Union Jack on the side. You've got a gun rack hanging on the passenger window. You have more than one roll of duct tape holding your cowling together. Your preflight includes removing all the clover, grass, and wheat from the landing gear. You siphon gas out of your tractor to put in your airplane. You've never really actually landed at an airport, although you've been flying for years. There are parts on your airplane labeled "John Deere". There's exhaust residue on the right side of your aircraft and tobacco stains on the left. You have to buzz the strip to chase off all the sheep. You've landed on the main street of your town for a cup of coffee. You fly to family reunions to meet girls. You've won the "Bob Wire" award at a spot landing contest. You have fuzzy dice hanging from the magnetic compass. There are grass stains on your propeller tips. The spittoon is wedged between the rudder pedals Just before impact, you're heard saying "Hey, y'all, hold mah beer and watch this!" ___________________________________________________ Top 10 Things Only Women Understand 10. Cats' facial expressions. 9. The need for the same style of shoe in different colors. 8. Why Bean sprouts aren't just weeds. 7. Fat clothes. 6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your last time. 5. The difference between beige, off-white, bone, and ecru. 4. Cutting your bangs to make them grow. 3. Eyelash curlers. 2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made. 1. Other women ___________________________________________________ 225-million-year-old petrified opal tree trunk located in Arizona ___________________________________________________ >From Patricia Internet Bumper Stickers * This web site is COVID Free. No face mask required! * I don't get mad... I get stabby! * DON'T MAKE ME USE UPPERCASE! * Well, TODAY was a total waste of makeup. * Last one out of the chatroom, please turn off the lights. * Not tonight dear, I have DSL. * If all else fails, stop using all else. * My mom went to cyberspace, ... and all I got was this internet bumper sticker. * You are, like, SO off my buddy list! ___________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Pam RE: Windows Colors messed up Dear Webby, I lent my laptop to my MIL, and her daughter totally squewed up all the colors in Windows. You had taught me once upon a time, lonng, long ago, how to make active windows have a green top bar and border and inactive windows a red bar and borders, and have very visible colors for text. Now everything is as squewed up as my MIL is. BAD, BAD DOPE! Unfortunately, due to my Oldtimers disease, I cana't remember how to set all those colors. Btw., I use W7. Life is too short for getting hassled with W10. Thanks Pam Dear Pam Right-click on the desktop Personalize Appearance again Personalize There, hidden way down you can select Windows Classic and below that the second bottom from the left is for Window Color In there you can set EVERYTHING! Menu bars colors and fonts and sizes, border colors and sizes, anything you can think of. There is no need to put up with a dopey color scheme. Have FUN! DearWebby __________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the humor letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work,please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it! Please, help me stay online! __________________________________________________ History Today June 18, in 1155, Frederick I Barbarossa was crowned emperor of Rome. 1429, French forces defeated the English at the battle of Patay. The English had been retreating after the siege of Orleans. 1621, The first duel in America took place in the Plymouth Colony in Massachusetts. 1667, The Dutch fleet sailed up the Thames toward London. 1778, Britain evacuated Philadelphia during the U.S. Revolutionary War. 1812, The War of 1812 began as the U.S. declared war against Great Britain. The conflict began over trade restrictions. 1815, At the Battle of Waterloo Napoleon was defeated by an international army under the Duke of Wellington. Napoleon abdicated on June 22. 1817, London's Waterloo Bridge opened. The bridge, designed by John Rennie, was built over the River Thames. 1863, J.J. Richardson received a patent for the ratchet wrench. 1873, Susan B. Anthony was fined $100 for attempting to vote for a U.S. President. She never paid the fine. 1898, Atlantic City, NJ, opened its Steel Pier. 1915, During World War I, the second battle of Artois ended. 1918, Allied forces on the Western Front began their largest counter-attack against the German army. (World War I) 1925, The first degree in landscape architecture was granted by Harvard University. 1927, The U.S. Post Office offered a special 10-cent postage stamp for sale. The stamp was of Charles Lindberghs "Spirit of St. Louis." 1928, Amelia Earhart became the first woman to fly solo across the Atlantic Ocean as she completed a flight from Newfoundland to Wales. 1936, The first bicycle traffic court was established in Racine, WI. 1942, The U.S. Navy commissioned its first black officer, Harvard University medical student Bernard Whitfield Robinson. 1948, The United Nations Commission on Human Rights adopted its International Declaration of Human Rights. 1951, General Vo Nguyen Giap ended his Red River Campaign against the French in Indochina. 1953, Egypt was proclaimed to be a republic with General Neguib as its first president. 1959, A Federal Court annulled the Arkansas law allowing school closings to prevent integration. 1959, The first telecast received from England was broadcast in the U.S. over NBC-TV. 1961, "Gunsmoke" was broadcast for the last time on CBS radio. 1966, Samuel Nabrit became the first African American to serve on the Atomic Energy Commission. 1979, In Vienna, U.S. President Jimmy Carter and Leonid Brezhnev signed the Strategic Arms Limitation Treaty (SALT) 2. 1982, The U.S. Senate approved the renewal of the 1965 Voting Rights Act for an additional twenty-five years. 1983, Dr. Sally Ride became the first American woman in space aboard the space shuttle Challenger. 1998, The Walt Disney Co. purchased a 43% stake in the Web search engine company Infoseek Corp. 1998, Nine commemorative U.S. postage stamps were reissued. The stamps were considered to be classically beautiful examples of stamp engraving. 1998, "The Boston Globe" asked Patricia Smith to resign after she admitted to inventing people and quotes in four of her recent columns. 1999, Walt Disney's "Tarzan" opened. 2000, In Algiers, Algeria, the foreign ministers of Ethiopia and Eritrea signed a preliminary cease-fire accord and agreed to work toward a permanent settlement of their two-year border war. 2009, NASA launched the Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter/LCROSS probes to the Moon. It was the first American lunar mission since Lunar Prospector in 1998. 2009, Greenland assumed control over its law enforcement, judicial affairs, and natural resources from the Kingdom of Denmark. Greenlandic became the official language. 2023, Do smiled.
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