Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday November 14 Here is a domain name you can use! 4mylove.com You can buy that domain name for $50 Have FUN! Dearwebby Today's Bonehead Award: Tinder date in Ponte Vedra leads to home invasion, police chase. Crooks rammed and stopped by cops. ______________________________________________________ Today, November 14 in 1889 New York World reporter Nellie Bly (Elizabeth Cochrane) began an attempt to surpass the fictitious journey of Jules Verne's Phileas Fogg by traveling around the world in less than 80 days. Bly succeeded by finishing the journey the following January in 72 days, 6 hours and 11 minutes. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Early to rise and early to bed makes a male healthy and wealthy and dead. --- James Thurber (1894 - 1961) ______________________________________________________ Marv, a local cop, recently stopped a woman for exceeding the posted speed limit. He asked the driver her name. She said, "I'm Mrs. Ladislanyatv Abdulkhashim Zybkcicraznovskaya from the Republic of Uzbekistan, visiting my daughter." Marv put away his summons book and pen, and said, "Well, uhhh, ok, but don't let me catch you speeding again." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Connie for this: If you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that. Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. Then take a dump in the woods. I could deal with that, too. If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them into next week. I could deal with that. If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat. I wanna be a bear. _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ When the pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express Praise for answered prayers, a lady stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband Jim had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him." You could hear an audible gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Jim experienced. She continued, "Jim was unable to hold me or the children and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delica te operation. They were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Jim's scrotum and wrap wire around it to hold it in place." Again, the men in the congregation squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Jim. She continued, "Now, Jim is out of the hospital and the doctors say, with time, his scrotum should recover completely." All the men sighed with relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if any one else had anything to say. A man rose, walked to the podium, and said, "I'm Jim, and I want to tell my wife - once again - the word is STERNUM." ______________________________________________________ Soapy Smith ? _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Michael Eric Wheeler, 26, Lexus Joshlin Tripplett, 20, Ponte Vedra, Florida Tinder date in Ponte Vedra leads to home invasion, police chase. Crooks rammed and stopped by cops. Facebook A Ponte Vedra resident was restrained and robbed during a home invasion that originated as a Tinder date, the St. Johns County Sheriff's Office said. The victim had arranged for a female to come to his house, but a male subject appeared and pointed a gun at him and began taking items, deputies said. The victim was tied up with bed sheets, pushed under a bed and gagged with a shirt so he couldn't scream for help, deputies said. He was forced to give up his bank account information, the report said. Before the victim freed himself, the two suspects were already using his bank accounts. The suspects were quickly identified as Michael Eric Wheeler, 26, and Lexus Joshlin Tripplett, 20, and located in a nearby park. Wheeler is a convicted felon, deputies said. He's charged with kidnapping, resisting arrest and robbery. "Deputies approached the suspects, who then turn fled and attempted to lead deputies into a vehicle pursuit. Due to the seriousness of the charges and the belief that the subjects may be involved in other violent crimes from outside of our jurisdiction, deputies rammed the suspect car against several trees, stopping their attempted escape." Wheeler is being held on a $650,000 bond, while Tripplett faces a $350,000 bond. From: Elsie Re: Wired or wireless mouse? Dear Webby What is better, a wired or a wireless mouse? Elsie Dear Elsie A wired 5 button mouse (with copy and paste!) is $50 cheaper than a similar mouse that is wireless. With the wireless mouse you have to keep buying batteries. The disadvantage of the wired mouse is that the cable gets snagged and you kock stuff over or off the desk. Today's wireless mice don't eat batteries like they used to 15 or 20 years ago. They are quite frugal now. I have a Logitech wireless 5 button mouse and a Microsoft wired 5 button mouse. The Logitech wireless mouse is aboout 7 years old, the Microsoft wired 5 button mouse is about 3 years old. The Microsoft mouse has gotten a bit unpredictable, especially the left button. Overall, the quality of the mouse is not quite the same as the Logitech mouse. Yes, I know, Microsoft does dot MAKE the mouse, they just get their cut for lending their name. However, the mouse they chose to market, is definitely a lower quality than the Logitech 5 button mouse. I have used 5 button mice since the mid 90's, using side buttons for copy and paste, and depressing the wheel for ENTER. Using a three button mouse from the Dollar Store is painful! Actually, my mice have 7 buttons. The wheel tilts for horizontal scrolling, but I never use that feature, or almost never. If it did not have horizontal scrolling, I would not miss it. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. Two dogs were walking down the street. The one dog says to the other, "Wait here a minute, I'll be right back." He walks across the street and sniffs this fire hydrant for about a minute, then walks back across the street. The other dog says, "What was that about?" The dog first dog says, "Oh, I was just checking my p-mail." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
A Man Walked By A Table In A Hotel And Noticed Three Men And A Dog Playing Cards. The Dog Was Playing With Extraordinary Performance. "This Is A Very Smart Dog," The Man Commented. "Not So Smart," Said One Of The Players. "Every Time He Gets A Good Hand, He Wags His Tail." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Add Cinnamon Baby's Breath To Greenery Tuck cinnamon-scented baby's breath among your holiday greenery, in wreathes, between the Christmas tree branches, in garlands, etc. It's lovely burgundy color and delicate form spruces up any arrangement. It can be purchased at most craft stores and is inexpensive. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ The philosophy professor teaching a course my friend was taking warned the class he was going to give them a test. When the day came he entered the classroom, wordlessly placed his chair on the table and, turning to the blackboard, wrote, "Prove to me this chair does not exist." Most of the nervous students began intently scribbling out long dissertations. But one member of the class wrote down just two words, and then handed his paper to the teacher. The professor had to smile when he read the student's answer: "What chair?" He got an A ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
>From Elsinore When I was 28, I was teaching English to high school freshmen in a school where occasionally the faculty and staff were allowed to dress down. One of those days I donned a sweatshirt and slacks. A student came in and his eyes widened. "Wow!" he exclaimed. "You should wear clothes like that every day. You look twenty, maybe even thirty years younger!" | Today November 14 in 1832 The first streetcar went into operation in New York City, NY. The vehicle was horse-drawn and had room for 30 people. 1851 Herman Melville's novel "Moby Dick" was first published in the U.S. 1881 Charles J. Guiteau's trial began for the assassination of U.S. President Garfield. Guiteau was convicted and hanged the following year. 1889 New York World reporter Nellie Bly (Elizabeth Cochrane) began an attempt to surpass the fictitious journey of Jules Verne's Phileas Fogg by traveling around the world in less than 80 days. Bly succeeded by finishing the journey the following January in 72 days, 6 hours and 11 minutes. 1922 The British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) began domestic radio service. 1935 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt proclaimed the Philippine Islands a free commonwealth after its new constitution was approved. The Tydings-McDuffie Act planned for the Phillipines to be completely independent by July 4, 1946. 1940 During World War II, German war planes destroyed most of the English town of Coventry when about 500 Luftwaffe bombers attacked. 1951 The first telecast of a world lightweight title fight was seen coast to coast. Jimmy Carter beat Art Aragon in Los Angeles. 1956 The USSR crushed the Hungarian uprising with tanks. 1968 Yale University announced it was going co-educational. 1969 Apollo 12 blasted off for the moon from Cape Kennedy, FL. 1969 During the Vietnam War, Major General Bruno Arthur Hochmuth, commander of the Third Marine Division, became the first general to be killed in Vietnam by enemy fire. 1972 The Dow Jones Industrial Average closed above the 1,000 (1,003.16) level for the first time. 1972 Blue Ribbon Sports became Nike. 1973 Britain's Princess Anne married a commoner, Capt. Mark Phillips, in Westminster Abbey. They divorced in 1992, and Princess Anne re-married. 1979 U.S. President Carter froze all Iranian assets in the United States and U.S. banks abroad in response to the taking of 63 American hostages at the U.S. embassy in Tehran, Iran. 1983 The British government announced that U.S.-made cruise missiles had arrived at the Greenham Common air base amid protests. 1988 Israeli President Chaim Herzog formally asked Prime Minister Yitzhak Shamir to form a new government. 1989 The U.S. Navy ordered an unprecedented 48-hour stand-down in the wake of a recent string of serious accidents. 1990 Simon and Schuster announced it had dropped plans to publish Bret Easton Ellis novel "American Psycho." 1991 After 13 years in exile Cambodian Prince Norodom Sihanouk returned to his homeland. 1994 U.S. experts visited North Korea's main nuclear complex for the first time under an accord that opened such sites to outside inspections. 1995 The U.S. government instituted a partial shutdown, closing national parks and museums while most government offices operated with skeleton crews. 2012 The game Candy Crush Saga was released as a mobile app for smartphones. 2018 Do smiled. |
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