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Today's Bonehead Award goes to Florida Brother and sister arrested in Girl Scout cookie seller robbery Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, March 7, in 1799 In Palestine, Napoleon captured Jaffa and his men massacred more than 2,000 Albanian prisoners. History ______________________________________________________ If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets. --- Mel Brooks (1926 - ) I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers. --- Mahatma Gandhi (1869 - 1948) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ "Political correctness gone mad," award goes to the Neil Adams Fitness Center in Coventry in the UK for banning exercising vests at the gym because seeing large biceps on some people might hurt the feelings of more puny folks. Two-cup Superbounce bra enhancers will continue to be allowed though, as long as the garment worn over them is long sleeved and closed at the neck so as to protect other exercisers should they become dislodged. ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Bubba was arrested for selling home-stilled whiskey. His lawyer put him on the stand and asked the jurors to look carefully at his client. "Now, Ladies and Gentleman of the jury," concluded the lawyer, "you've looked carefully at the defendant. "Can you sit there in the jury and honestly believe that if Bubba had any whiskey he would sell it?" He was acquitted. ______________________________________________________ >From FB ______________________________________________________ If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Nicholas Delbrugge, 20 and his sister, Ashley Winters, 25, Deltona, Floriduh Brother and sister arrested in Girl Scout money theft Two people accused of stealing money from a Girl Scout who was selling cookies outside a local Walmart have been arrested. Nicholas Delbrugge, 20, and his sister, Ashley Winters, 25, were arrested Wednesday when they arrived in Deltona following a trip to North Carolina, the Volusia County Sheriffs Office said. Deputies said Delbrugge grabbed a 12-year-old Girl Scouts cash box while she was selling cookies in front of a Deltona Walmart on Sunday. Authorities keyed in on the suspects when a New Smyrna Beach police officer watched surveillance video of the theft and recognized Delbrugge from a prior incident, deputies said. Investigators used Facebook to track the pair to a Volusia County address, where a man confirmed the people in the surveillance photos were his grandchildren, but he said they were in North Carolina. Delbrugge and Winters were arrested when they returned to Florida Wednesday and the victim identified Delbrugge in a photo lineup a short time later. Two carreer crooks agains one 12 year old girl scout! And she didn't even have to tie them up. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Wendy Re: Microsoft Works 2006 work on W10? Dear Webby >From a little digging, it looks like later versions of Works work better on Windows 10 than earlier versions: Microsoft Answers... Some of that thread is pretty funny, especially the first few responses. This person asks in a Microsoft sponsored forum about one Microsoft product running on another Microsoft product, and the first answer is essentially I dunno, contact the software developer. Even when someone was able to get it to install, they reported spurious error messages, lockups, or lost data. So Im not sure I would trust it with anything important. If you can convince the reader to switch to Libre Office, here is a good tip: Convert to docx Aloha, -mkr Dear Mike Thank you for your valuable information! Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ There's a new jewelry store in Hollywood whose business has suddenly leaped ahead of all the competition. It rents out wedding rings. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Recipe: Blackeyed Pea Croquettes By R Barbara [145 Posts, 48 Comments] Approximate Time: 1 hour prep and cooking time Yield: 12 Ingredients: 2 cups, cooked blackeyed peas, one can 1/2 cup finely chopped onion 1/4 cup finely chopped fresh pepper, such as Anaheim (you could use a hotter pepper to suit your tastes) 1/4 cup yellow corn meal mix, we used Jiffy 1/4 cup all purpose flour 1/4 tsp salt 1/4 tsp black pepper 1/8 to 1/4 tsp Tony Chachere's Creole Seasoning, our own addition and a nod to my father's love of spicy food 1 egg 1/2 cup buttermilk oil for frying, about 1/4 cup, we used canola Steps: We used canned peas so we rinsed them with cold water and patted off the excess moisture before placing in a mixing bowl. Mash some of the peas (about 1/3 to 1/2) with the back of a mixing spoon. Slice pepper lengthwise, remove pith and seeds, then chop. Chop onion. Add onion, pepper, corn meal mix, flour, salt, pepper, and Tony's to the peas in your mixing bowl. In a small bowl, whisk egg with the buttermilk until well blended. Stir egg mixture into pea mixture and mix well. Set aside and allow to rest for approximately 10 minutes. Meanwhile, heat the oil in a heavy skillet over medium heat. The recipe called for medium to high heat, but on our stovetop we went with medium as higher heat caused the croquettes to brown too quickly without cooking thoroughly. When the oil is hot, drop the batter into the skillet in heaping tablespoonfuls about 1 inch apart. Fry for about 1 to 2 minutes on each side until a rich golden brown. Continue with remaining batter. Transfer to paper towel lined plate or cookie sheet. Keep croquettes warm in a 200 degree F oven until all are cooked. Serve warm. Source: www.oatmealgourmet.com ______________________________________________________ Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________ Two teens, ages fourteen and sixteen, were turned down by the marriage license clerk. Then they asked, "Could you give us a learners' permit?" ___________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ Thanks to Walter from http://stonecarver.com for this one: Psychiatry students were in their Emotional Extremes class. "Let's set some parameters," the professor said. What's the opposite of joy?" he asked one student. "Sadness," he answered. The opposite of depression?" he asked another student. "Elation," he replied. Then the professor asked a young woman from Texas:"The opposite of woe?" The Texan replied, "Sir, I believe that would be giddyup." ____________________________________________________ Thanksgiving Day was approaching, and a family had received a Thanksgiving card with a painting of a pilgrim family on its way to church. Grandma showed the card to her small grandchildren, observing, "The pilgrim children LIKED to go to church with their mothers and fathers." "Oh, yeah?" her grandson replied, "And their dad is carrying that long rifle to make sure they LIKED to go along peacefully?" ____________________________________________________ | Now I'm going to have to try this out. |
| Today on March 7 0322 BC Aristotle, the Greek philosopher, died. 1774 The British closed the port of Boston to all commerce. 1799 In Palestine, Napoleon captured Jaffa and his men massacred more than 2,000 Albanian prisoners. 1848 In Hawaii, the Great Mahele was signed. 1849 The Austrian Reichstag was dissolved. 1854 Charles Miller received a patent for the sewing machine. 1876 Alexander Graham Bell received a patent for his telephone. 1901 It was announced that blacks had been found enslaved in parts of South Carolina. 1904 The Japanese bombed the Russian town of Vladivostok. 1904 In Springfield, OH, a mob broke into a jail and shot a black man accused of murder. 1906 Finland granted women the right to vote. 1908 Cincinnati's Mayor Leopold Markbreit announced before the city council that, "Women are not physically fit to operate automobiles." 1911 Willis Farnworth patented the coin-operated locker. 1911 In the wake of the Mexican Revolution, the U.S. sent 20,000 troops to the border of Mexico. 1918 Finland signed an alliance treaty with Germany. 1925 The Soviet Red Army occupied Outer Mongolia. 1927 A Texas law that banned Negroes from voting was ruled unconstitutional by the U.S. Supreme Court. 1933 The board game Monopoly was invented. 1935 Malcolm Campbell set an auto speed record of 276.8 mph in Florida. 1936 Hitler sent German troops into the German Rhineland in violation of the Locarno Pact and the Treaty of Versailles. 1942 Japanese troops landed on New Guinea. 1945 During World War II, U.S. forces crossed the Rhine River at Remagen, Germany. 1947 John L. Lewis declared that only a totalitarian regime could prevent strikes. 1951 U.N. forces in Korea under General Matthew Ridgeway launched Operation Ripper against the Chinese. 1954 Russia appeared for the first time in ice-hockey competition. Russia defeated Canada 7-2 to win the world ice-hockey title in Stockholm, Sweden. 1955 "Peter Pan" was presented as a television special for the first time. 1959 Melvin C. Garlow became the first pilot to fly over a million miles in jet airplanes. 1965 State troopers and a sheriff's posse broke up a march by civil rights demonstrators in Selma, AL. 1968 The Battle of Saigon came to an end. 1971 A thousand U.S. planes bombed Cambodia and Laos. 1975 The U.S. Senate revised the filibuster rule. The new rule allowed 60 senators to limit debate instead of the previous two-thirds. 1981 Anti-government guerrillas in Colombia executed the kidnapped American Bible translator Chester Allen Bitterman. The guerrillas accused Bitterman of being a CIA agent. 1985 The first AIDS antibody test, an ELISA-type test, was released. 1987 Mike Tyson became the youngest heavyweight titleholder when he beat James Smith in a decision during a 12-round fight in Las Vegas, NV. 1989 Poland accused the Soviet Union of a World War II massacre in Katyn. Russia had blamed the Germans for that. 1994 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that parodies that poke fun at an original work can be considered "fair use" that does not require permission from the copyright holder. 1999 In El Salvador, Francisco Flores Prez of the ruling Nationalist Republican Alliance (Arena) was elected president. 2002 A federal judge awarded Anna Nicole Smith more than $88 million in damages. The ruling was the latest in a legal battle over the estate of Smith's late husband, J. Howard Marshall II. 2003 Scientists at the Stanford Linear Accelerator Center announced that they had transferred 6.7 gigabytes of uncompressed data from Sunnvale, CA, to Amsterdam, Netherlands, in 58 seconds. The data was sent via fiber-optic cables and traveled 6,800 miles. 2009 NASA's Kepler Mission, a space photometer for searching for extrasolar planets in the Milky Way galaxy, was launched from Cape Canaveral Air Force Station, Florida. 2012 The successor to Apple's iPad2 was unveiled. 2016 Do smiled. |
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