Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, April 26 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! ______________________________________________________ Today, April 26 in 1921 Weather broadcasts were heard for the first time on radio in St. Louis, MO. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Arizona mom is arrested for punching her seven-year-old son in the face because 'he wasn't a good enough lookout for his swhoplftng grandma' ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up. --- Tom Lehrer (1928 - ) There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes. --- Doctor Who _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Texan Emergency First Aid Two men from Texas were sitting at a bar when a young lady nearby began to choke on a hamburger. As she gasped and gagged, one Texan turned to the other and said, "That gal is havin' a bad time. I'm a gonna go over there and help." The Texan ran over to the young lady, held both sides of her head in his big, Texan hands, and asked, "Kin ya swaller?" Gasping, she acknowledged that she couldn't swallow. Then, the Texan asked, "Kin ya breathe?" Still gasping, she motioned that she couldn't breathe. With that, the Texan yanked up her skirt, pulled down her panties, and licked her butt. The young woman was so shocked and humiliated that she screamed at him and brought up the piece of hamburger and began breathing on her own. The Texan sat back down with his friend and said, "Ya know, it's sure amazin' how that hind-lick maneuver always works!" ______________________________________________________` Superbloom 2019 seen from space _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Rebecca Gonzales, 27, Phoenix, Arizona Arizona mom is arrested for punching her seven-year-old son in the face because 'he wasn't a good enough lookout for his swhoplftng grandma' Rebecca Gonzales, 27, was detained by Phoenix police on Friday and charged with aggravated assault Police responded to a possible abuse call at the Walmart and allegedly saw the mother slap and punch her son in the face - he was left bleeding Officers say that the child told them he was hit because 'he didn't watch out for his grandma go An Arizona mother has been arrested after she allegedly attacked her seven-year-old son 'for being a bad lookout for his shoplifting grandma'. Rebecca Gonzales, 27, was detained by Phoenix police on Friday and charged with aggravated assault. Court documents indicate that police responded to a suspected child abuse call at a Walmart located near 75th Avenue and Lower Buckeye Road on Friday night, KNXV reports. There, they learned that Gonzales had come to the store to pick up her seven-year-old son, who was acting as a lookout for his grandmother while she shoplifted. Officers allegedly saw the mother slap and punch her child in the face while they were in the parking lot. And when they saw him up close, authorities discovered that the boy's mouth was bleeding. Police say that the child told them he was hit because 'he didn't watch out for his grandma good enough'. The grandmother's identity has not been released and it is unknown if she was caught shoplifting. The status of the child is currently unknown. From: Janice Re: Yahoo mail solution Dear Webby For Brian: this isn't something generally known but if you go into settings, you can get back to your original Yahoo. I found it by accident one day. Of course, you have to reset all your calendar notifications again each time. It's the price we pay for using Yahoo. I started out using a government email system and didn't have a manual. It was very much like Yahoo. I learned by using it. You don't need to tell all, but it might help someone else? Janice Dear Janice Thanks for your suggestion! Usually I suggest using Gmail if somebody does not have an ISP based address like for example janice-in-spring@telus.net. If they do have an ISP based address, then I recommend Eudra or Thunderbird. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. The weather was very hot, so this man wanted desperately take a dive in the nearby lake. He didn't bring his swimming outfit, but who cared? He was all alone. So, he undressed and got into the water. After some delightful minutes of cool swimming, a pair of old ladies walked onto the shore in his direction. He panicked, got out of the water and grabbed a bucket, which lay on the sandy beach. He held the bucket in front of his private parts and sighed with relief. The ladies got nearby and looked at him. He felt awkward and wanted to move. Then one of the ladies said, "You know, I have a special gift, I can read minds." "Impossible," said the embarrassed man, "You really know what I'm thinking?" "Yes," the lady replied, "I know that you think that the bucket you're holding has a bottom in it." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Dear Webby, do you remember that joke about a drunk beating up a ghost? I need it, can you please run it again? Thanks Mary Sure, Mary! A modest man was in the hospital for a series of test. One of the last tests has left his system upset. Upon making several false alarms to the bathroom he decided the latest was another. But he completely filled his bed up with human waste and was embarrassed beyond anything he could possible face. Losing his presence of mind, he jumped up, gathered up the bed sheets and threw them out the hospital window. A drunkard was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cussing and swinging his arms which drew the attention of the security guard. The security guard asked, "What's going on here?!?!?" And the drunk replied, "I think I just beat the crap out of a ghost!" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Hanging Craft Projects Put all the patterns and other supplies for a craft craft project in a plastic grocery bag with handles. Then slip each handle of the grocery bag over a clothes hanger and hang it a closet. You can cross the handles so the bag won't slip off the hanger. If the handles still have a tendency to slip, secure them with clothespins. thriftyfun.Com Print the name of the project and a list of the stuff in the bag, and glue that on the outside of the bag with Hotmelt glue, so that you don't leave a row of 300 mystery project bags for your heirs. Have FUN! DearWebby ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Todd and Jill had just gotten back from the honeymoon, and were having their first fight, and it was a big one. No matter what Todd tried to say or do, Jill refused to compromise, or even listen. He started growing exasperated. After a while, Todd said "When we got married, you promised to love, honor and obey." Jill replied, "I know. But I didn't want to start an argument in front of all those people at the wedding." ___________________________________________________ Joe was delivering a load of manure to the convent and remarked to the friar about the beautiful roses they had. The friar told him that there would be a lot more and bigger roses, but that they were suffering from "Black Death". Joe had never heard of that and asked what this "Black Death" was all about. "Nuns with scissors," the friar replied. ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
>From Dave Because my mother had a habit of losing her cordless phone, I bought her a phone with a clip on it so she could attach it directly to her belt. A few days later, I walked into my mother's home and found her standing in the middle of the living room, halfway dressed. That didn't strike me as odd so much as the fact that she was holding her pants to the side of her head and speaking into them. "Don't look at me that way," she yelled. "The phone started ringing and I couldn't figure out how to undo this stupid clip!" ___________________________________________________ | Today April 26 in 1478 Pazzi conspirators attacked Lorenzo and killed Giuliano de'Medici. 1514 Copernicus made his first observations of Saturn. 1607 The British established an American colony at Cape Henry, Virginia. It was the first permanent English establishment in the Western Hemisphere. 1819 The first Odd Fellows lodge in the U.S. was established in Baltimore, MD. 1865 Joseph E. Johnston surrendered the Army of Tennessee to Sherman during the American Civil War. 1865 John Wilkes Booth was killed by the U.S. Federal Cavalry. 1921 Weather broadcasts were heard for the first time on radio in St. Louis, MO. 1929 First non-stop flight from England to India was completed. 1931 NBC premiered "Lum and Abner." It was on the air for 24 years. 1937 German planes attacked Guernica, Spain, during the Spanish Civil War for the Spanish nationalist government. This raid is considered one of the first to be attacks on a civilian population by a modern air force. 1945 Marshal Henri Philippe Petain, the head of France's Vichy government during World War II, was arrested. 1964 The African nations of Tanganyika and Zanzibar merged to form Tanzania. 1968 Students seized the administration building at Ohio State University. 1982 The British announced that Argentina had surrendered on South Georgia. 1985 In Argentina, a fire at a mental hospital killed 79 people and injured 247. 1986 The world's worst nuclear disaster to date occurred at Chernobyl, near Kiev. Thirty-one people died in the incident and thousands more were exposed to radioactive material. 1998 Auxiliary Bishop Juan Gerardi Conedera was bludgeoned to death two days after a report he'd compiled on atrocities during Guatemala's 36-year civil war was made public. 2002 In Erfurt, Germany, an expelled student killed 17 people at his former school. The student then killed himself. 2019 Do smiled. |
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