Identity Theft

Dear John,

This blog is meant to be what Master said life should be: “entertaining and educational.” It is done in a light way about a serious topic, but sometimes things are too serious to be approached seriously. So, here is a story of the journey of a young man that Swami Kriyananda might have called, “devotee everyone.” For the sake of brevity, we’ll call him simply “Seeker.” I hope you enjoy it.

At the station:

Seeker: “I want to report an identity theft.”

Police officer: “We’re getting a lot of reports of that these days. What did they get? Social Security number? Driver’s license? Credit cards?”

Seeker: “Actually, it’s more subtle than that. I’m not missing any of the stuff that can be replaced. I think someone has taken the memory of my identity, of who I really am. I think they must have used some kind of drug or hypnosis.”

Officer: “Unless there’s some physical evidence, we can’t help. Confidentially, some of the guys here get those same thoughts from time to time. When we feel like that, we try music—good and loud, or binge-watching a T.V. series, even surfing the internet—anything to distract ourselves.”

Seeker: “I don’t think that’s going to help me.”

Officer: (Whispering as he walks him to the door) “Listen, my wife goes to this psychiatrist. Here’s her card.”

At the clinic:

Psychiatrist: “How may I help you?”

Seeker: (Explains the situation) “I can’t quite put my finger on it, but sometimes I get a sense that I’m somebody else.”

Psychiatrist: “Who?”

Seeker: (Mumbling) “A son of God.”

Psychiatrist: “If you think you’re the Son of God, that’s what we call a ‘delusion of grandeur.’ It’s not easy to treat.”

Seeker: “Not the son of God. A son of God—a child of God.”

Psychiatrist: “I’ve had others with this problem, but I’ve never had any success working with them. I can give you something for the anxiety, but it won’t treat the underlying problem. My husband has the same issues and seems to get some help from a spiritual teacher. Here’s his card.”

At the ashram:

Spiritual teacher: “How may I help you?”

Seeker: Explains his feelings.

Spiritual teacher: “I think I can help, and have some techniques that really work, especially meditation. But it will take time, effort, and dedication. Are you willing?”

Seeker: “Yes, I’m desperate. I’ll do anything.”

Spiritual teacher: “To start with, I’m going to ask you to peer into this globe. Your job is to see a silver-white star in the very center. Some sages have said that this is the true Star of Bethlehem that led the three wise men to the Christ child, or Son of God.”

Seeker: (After a few minutes of looking into the globe) “The surface is all clouded and disturbed. I can’t see into the center at all.”

Spiritual teacher: “Your first problem is that you have to sit still. It’s your movement that is disturbing the light.”

Seeker: “It’s better now, but the light on the surface roils.”

Spiritual teacher: “The light is reacting to your breath. Just observe the breath coming in and out. That will help you withdraw your life force and focus your mind.”

Seeker: (Some days later) “It’s getting better. I can see deeper into the globe, but now I keep seeing flashes of light that I didn’t notice before.”

Spiritual teacher: “The globe is reacting to your restless thoughts. You have to learn to withdraw from the sensory input in order to focus more deeply.”

Seeker: (After several months) “I still have far to go, but I have some periods where I can see the star. When I’m really focused, it’s almost as if I’m becoming the light. I still have a ways to go to get to that state you call “smritti,” but at least it feels like I have a pathway forward.”

In a shop a year later:

Police officer: “Hey, I remember you. Did you ever find any solution for that ‘identity theft’ you came in about?”

Seeker: “Well, one thing led to another and I found out what was going on. I feel a little silly that I came to you. It turns out that I simply forgot who I really am, so I’m working with some memory techniques.”

Officer: (Laughing) “I could probably use some of those myself, especially after a tough day or a long night.”

Seeker: “Well, if you ever feel ready, let me know. In the meantime, I know this couple who write an interesting weekly blog. . . .”

In divine friendship,

Nayaswami Jyotish