1.  MAGA Mob Assaulted at Least 139 Cops at Capitol: Prosecutors

 TOTAL CHAOS 

A new court filing accusers the pro-Trump rioters of attacking at least 81 Capitol Police and a further 58 D.C. police officers.

2.  DOJ to Probe if Officials Tried to Overturn 2020 Election

  WATCH OUT 

The New York Times reported last week that Trump schemed with a DOJ lawyer to oust the acting AG, with the goal of overturning his loss in Georgia.

3.  Baggu’s New Masks Are the Most Fun, Best-Fitting Masks I Own

 MASK AND YE SHALL RECEIVE 

I actively enjoy wearing these masks out and about not only because they’re comfortable, but because they’re just so darn cool-looking.

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4.  Gov. Kristi Noem Wants to Stop Down Syndrome Abortions

 AROUND THE EDGES 

If enacted, South Dakota would be the sixth state to have a “reason ban” targeting genetic fetal abnormality.

5.  Supreme Court Tosses Emoluments Lawsuits Against Trump

 DISMISSED 

The lawsuits accused Trump of illegally profiting off his presidency.

6.  You’ve Never Tried Anything Like These Parachute Towels

 KNIT IT TO WIN IT 

These lightweight towels will soak up all your post-shower moistness before you even feel uncomfortable with the word “moistness.”

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7.  Dominion Voting Systems Sues Rudy for $1 Billion in Damages

 DEEP TROUBLE 

The suit reportedly lists over 50 statements from Giuliani which accused Dominion of rigging the election against Trump.

8.  Live-Action ‘Harry Potter’ Series Planned at HBO Max

 HOGWARTS AND ALL 

No actors or writers have been attached to the project, which is still in its early stages, The Hollywood Reporter wrote Monday.

9.  WH Says Treasury Will Move to Put Harriet Tubman on $20 Bill

 CASH MONEY 

The Obama administration had announced plans to put the abolitionist on the bill in 2016, but Trump put the kibosh on the plan.

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10.  Maryland Gov. Insults Top County Health Official on Facebook

 TIME TO LOG OFF 

Posting from his official gubernatorial account, Hogan wrote that the health official “doesn’t really know what he is talking about.”

11.  Boy, 9, One of 300 Kids Arrested at Anti-Putin Protests

  REVOLTING 

Russian state media says the young protesters were locked up after being “lured” into protesting against the jailing of Alexei Navalny.

12.  Merck Scraps COVID-19 Vaccine After Disappointing Results

 MISSED THEIR SHOT 

The company will now focus on manufacturing drugs for treatment of the virus, The Wall Street Journal reported on Monday.

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13.  Biden to Replace Doc Who Misled Public About Trump’s COVID

 BITTER PILL 

Dr. Sean Conley admitted to misleading the public about Trump’s coronavirus treatment in an attempt to “reflect the upbeat attitude” of the former president.

14.  Fox News Drops Sarah Huckabee Sanders Ahead of Arkansas Race

 HERE WE GO AGAIN 

The former White House press secretary, who will announce her gubernatorial bid on Monday, has had her contributor gig terminated.

15.  Board Members Refuse to Wear Masks to Honor Dead Teacher

 SPITTING ON HIS GRAVE 

Fallen teacher Patrick Key’s obituary read: “In lieu of flowers, please buy and wear a mask to protect others and yourself in honor of him.”

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