The deconstruction of my belief started on graduation day at my seminary. I suddenly questioned the inspiration, infallibility, and inerrancy of the Bible. It was absolutely devastating.
Long story short, I spent the next 30 years in ministry trying to figure it out.
I was in denial about my shifting beliefs for quite some time and I tried to bargain with God about what I was going through.
But when that inner deconstruction came to a head, I experienced so much anger and I eventually left the church and ministry in 2010.
That journey nearly destroyed everything. All hell broke loose, the shit hit the fan, and the bomb went off in the centre of my life.
Lisa and I lost almost all of our friends, all of our support, and our sense of meaning & purpose. And we nearly lost our marriage.
After a while of wallowing in my ‘post-church depression’, Lisa sternly told me that I needed help. I wasn’t good. I was traumatized. And my method of coping was to freeze. I thought I was fine because I was feeling no pain. The truth was, there was a deep depression hiding under my indifference, and I had to deal with it.
I got help. I began my healing journey. And in 2012 I realized I wasn’t alone in what I was going through.
Many others were going through a similar “5 Stages of Deconstruction”, and were experiencing the same trauma. Yet, there was nothing out there to support them, as there was nothing for me.
In the church, you have resources galore. If you leave, you leave the resources too. Basically, you’re on your own.
That’s when I decided to launch The Lasting Supper (TLS), my private online community, to help others through the challenges of their deconstruction. I wish there had been something like that available to me, but it was just too taboo at the time. I wanted to provide a place where anyone at any of the 5 stages of deconstruction could join to get support on their journey and have a safe space to feel valued and validated in their experience.
This is what I love most about TLS— it’s diversity of people. We have members all over the deconstruction/spiritual map and the whole spectrum of belief and non-belief. It’s a dynamic group of non-judgemental care and support where we all respect each other’s space and place, and where members receive consistent videos, letters, pdfs and more, to help find their path to spiritual independence and freedom.
This last week has been my first time talking about it publicly in quite a while and if you’re looking for support, connection or camaraderie as you navigate your deconstruction, we might be just the place you need right now. So take a peek.
The doors are open for new members until next week and you can join risk-free to try it out!
We'd love to have you.
