Ophelia Dingbatter's News
NO Sermon here, not for church, just jokes and fun for adults. |
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Good Morning, John! Today is Sunday, January 20 (`v) Ophelia
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ONE of the many jokes from the full version: _____________________________________________________ 8 I knew it would come to this. Your pockets are not the only place in your pants the IRS is interested in -- now they're heading for your zipper. The IRS is planning to tax sex! "Congress realizes the U.S. has a HUGE budget deficit and needs more money," says Barry Todwell, who works for the IRS' "INT" division -- Ingenious New Taxes. "We thought 'Everybody indulges in sex. Let's tax that!'" But since sex isn't income, the government had a problem. "But then we realized that sex enhances feelings of self-WORTH, and once their WORTH went up, that was like income!" Todwell says the government is working on how to track how much sex people are having. "We're experimenting with putting motion detectors in all new mattresses so we'll know when couples are doing more than sleeping. "We're also perfecting an Orgasm Detector. When people climax, it emits a certain psychic energy we can track." But the most effective way might be the easiest, Todwell says. "We'll just ask guys. They always exaggerate how much sex they have, so we'll make out like bandits. "And guys who aren't having sex would rather pay money to the IRS than admit that they can't get laid, so we'll cash in there, too." =====================================================
Enjoy! (`v) Ophelia ======================================================
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