Growing up in a family of Soviet Jewish emigres, I knew from a young age that there was only one thing that could get you through Nazi occupations, Stalin, and the Iron Curtain: A wicked sense of humor. 

For Soviet Jews, humor was a lifeline. It breathed air into the most suffocating times. 

And in a society that systematically repressed Jewish culture, humor was perhaps the greatest marker of one’s identity: Anekdoti, situational jokes, featuring characters named Rabinovich, or Avrom and Sara, were the Talmud of the Soviet Jews. They were the narratives that were shared and memorized over tables in cramped kitchens. Men and women would bring their notes on the latest jokes they heard, often poking fun at current events and Jewish culture, and read them aloud at gatherings to a roaring audience and another round of vodka. Some of my warmest childhood memories are of those moments, transposed from Kiev and Minsk to New Jersey.

Inside the Soviet Union, it was in this oral, self-deprecating genre that the Jewish way was preserved and passed on --  a system of codes, with a sprinkling of cynicism, whatever the risk. After all, a casual joke was never just that -- shared with the wrong person, it could land you in a labor camp. 

In the 1980’s, when the month of Jewish month of Adar would approach, Soviet Jews in large cities would gather secretly for Purim shpiels,  comedic plays (often featuring refusenik actors) of the Purim story. The sagas of ancient Persia -- of totalitarianism, of threats of mass slaughter -- felt all too contemporary. 

The story of Esther is, after all, one big anekdot, a story of extreme dark irony, with a brave heroine at its heart: A dictator and genocidal bigot are overturned by an unlikely duo, a secretly Jewish queen and her wise uncle. It’s terribly funny, but also, terribly serious, right? We only narrowly escaped being decimated. Even so, the Jewish way is to laugh, of course -- to dance on the tip of the sword, to celebrate every survival with utter abandon.

So here is my Purim gift to you, a quintessential Soviet anekdot that rings true today:

A Soviet Jew comes to the KGB office, asking permission to leave. 

The KGB official: "Where do you want to go?"

The Jew: "Israel. Ah, actually, no -- wars, terrorism, tough economy. O.K., America, then. Oh, no -- racial tensions, crime..." 

The KGB official puts a globe on his desk in front of him and says: "Just tell me where." 

The Jew spins it for a while, then asks: "Do you have a different globe?"

Wishing you and yours a jolly Adar,

#followher (on instagram)

Leah Forster, @leahforster, is one of those comedians who has truly mastered the art of social media. In her beloved “Tichel Tuesday” weekly video, she pokes fun at Hasidic women’s culture, and at the community where she grew up, with sharpness and compassion. Follow her to get into the Purim mood, and read this profile of her by our colleague Aiden Pink.

culture club

Our minds this month lean towards Queen Esther’s Shushan, so we picked up Persian Brides, a novel by Israeli Dorit Rabinyan. It’s the story of the cousins Flora and Nazie, two young girls in the fictional Persian village of Omerijan, set sometime in the 19th century: Flora is 15, pregnant, and abandoned by her husband, while the younger Nazie longs desperately to be married, though she is only 11. The novel conjures the strong sense of sisterhood in traditional communities, a chorus of village-women gathering and commenting, celebrating and mourning life together. Between the sex and the food, be prepared for a deeply sensual read.

Have a book or film you’d like to share with our readers? Thoughts about this month’s selection? Write to us:  ourtime@forward.com.

handle with care

February is heart health month, and cardiologist Dr. Donna Zwas of Hadassah Hospital in Jerusalem says that the best way to empower women is to educate them to listen -- to their bodies. "We're so busy worrying about everyone else that we are not worrying about ourselves,” she said. “You need to take yourself seriously and take the next step. It's okay to go to the ER for a false alarm.”

She noted that women often wait longer than men do to call for help when experiencing chest pain. “It’s not a pain threshold issue,” she explained. “It’s an interpretation issue.”

Which makes us think: How do women’s tendencies to push away help for ourselves affect not just our health, but our personal lives, our work, our dreams?

signature style

Meet Los Angeles style empress and fashion blogger Rachelle Yadegar -- we are extremely here for her Cali sense of je-ne-sais-quoi. We asked Rachelle for her go-to styling tips; here’s what she told us:

Blaze your way: Wear a blazer on your shoulders to give you structure, height -- and confidence.

Stripes forever: Dress a striped shirt up or down. Pair her with a jean skirt, layer under a strapless dress, or dress up with some fun earrings and bold lip. 

Bottoms up: I wear a black slip skirt twice a week. They are insanely flattering and make anything you pair them with on top instantly a “look.”

Top it off: Don’t be afraid to wear a wide-brimmed hat with character -- it’s a way to express yourself, and it’ll pull your outfit together.

Who’s your Jewish style icon? Nominate her here.

secret ingredients

You’re supposed to get drunk on Purim, so we asked Gitty Halberstam of Misceo Liqueurs to train us in at-home mixology. Here’s a guide, whether you’re reaching for tequila or tonic.

🍹Have two tools: Make sure to have a jigger -- you want to be able to measure exactly (tip: know the difference between a cocktail that’s shaken vs. stirred) -- and a muddler for herbs.

🍯 Understand flavors. Know how to balance sweet, sour, and neutral. If you’re making a mocktail, use tonic water, because it has a bitterness to it that seltzer won’t.

🥃 Bring on the bitters, a controlled flavor that adds a lot to round out a cocktail. You can find them in most liquor stores and in Target.

🍋 Garnish with purpose. It’s not just about the look; there ought to be a purpose to the garnish: Whether a cinnamon stick or lemon or celery, it must add to the flavor of the drink.

🥒 Have fun. Anything in your kitchen can be put into a cocktail or a mocktail -- even pickle juice.

Looking for some Purim-inspired cocktail ideas? We’ve got you covered.

p.s. check it out

🛁 Has Judy Blume changed your life? Read my colleague Molly Boigon’s lovely ode to this beloved author, in honor of her birthday, who taught her the facts about periods and kisses.

🎙️ Tune in to Hadassah’s The Branch podcast, hosted by the American-Israeli journalist Dina Kraft, for a fascinating glimpse of two peace advocates, one in Israel and one in Gaza, and how they organize via Skype and WhatsApp -- connecting people across the bitter divide.

📺 Are you watching “Soon By You,” the frum and funky “Friends”-esque sitcom taking the Upper West Side by storm? The latest episode explored the dilemmas faced by queer young people who want to embrace their sexuality without leaving their Orthodox communities, and Irene Katz-Connelly has thoughts.

👛 A recent biography of Coco Chanel's wartime spent in the French Riviera minimizes her Nazi sympathies and anti-Semitic views, and offers a gauche portrait of a French elite continuing to party as the war raged -- Hermes gas masks included.

📥From our inbox:  “I loved your first newsletter!  I use hawaijj in my coffee every morning. For those who can't or don't make their own - a very good hawaijj for coffee is made by Pereg spices - it is sometimes labelled ‘Spices for Coffee’.” ~ Ann Ellen (Chana Dickter)

👩Next month, we’ll be thinking about all kinds of doulas, women who help people through life-changing journeys. Have a related story, book, or historical photo you want to share? Let us know.

What are you reading, listening to and watching online these days? Let us know: ourtime@forward.com

matriarchs

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