*******************************
THE POPBITCH SUMMER HOLIDAY QUIZ
Smiths of Smithfield, Weds 10 Aug.
Join host Tom Webb for a big summer
quiz night - trivia, gossip, music,
politics, arts & crafts and more.
7-9:30pm. Book table/tickets now.
*******************************


"EastEnders on a bad night gets
7,000,000 viewers. Once you do
EastEnders the next big thing
after that can only be Hollywood"
- Richard Blackwood

-------------------------------
Free email every week
Subscribe http://eepurl.com/XSZoP
Email stories hello@popbitch.com
* Disco goth to the Treasury!
* Andy Coulson: back once again
* Charts: Drake. Always Drake.

-------------------------------

    >> Klum-stuff <<
    A five-star service

  Rumours have been circulating
  on the internet about a Heidi
  Klum sex tape. The story's come
  to nothing so far but it doesn't
  sound implausible. She certainly
  has an appetite for adventure.

  We know of one five-star hotel
  in London which once declined
  a magazine's request to book a
  suite for Ms Klum due to some
  hi-jinks that she had engaged
  in on a past visit with one of
  their bellboys.

 
-------------------------------
London City Airport: Naomi Campbell
jumping security queue. "All staff
went to help her with her bag. Her
large rings & sunglasses meant she
couldn't do anything herself".

-------------------------------

     >> Murray: Mint <<
     Colin is a man of his word

  Colin Murray resigned from his
  radio show this week when News
  UK bought TalkSport. People who
  have worked with him suggest he's
  always been a man of principle.

  We're told of a time when he
  agreed to do a last-minute charity
  campaign but came down with food
  poisoning from a dodgy sandwich
  on the day. He still soldiered on
  through a pretty physical open-air
  photoshoot, stopping to throw
  up in the bushes between set-ups.

  He didn't even complain when his
  own shirt got so badly covered
  in mud he had to be taken by the
  client to get a new one for the
  rest of the shoot, which he
  insisted on paying for himself.

 
-------------------------------
Francois Hollande spends €9,895 on
his hairdresser every month.

-------------------------------

    >> Big Questions <<
    Who's asking what this week?

  Which pair of celeb friends
  act as each other's wingmen
  out on the pull at Hollywood
  Hills parties – always ready
  to provide a good alibi for
  the other's wife?
 
  Which journalist likes being
  painted as a Native American
  warrior with a lady’s...
  erm... monthly 'warpaint'?

 
-------------------------------
A study by a Texan University shows
that 95% of hot tubs host bacteria
derived from faeces.

-------------------------------

     >> Tennis elbowed <<
     Spending time with the family

  Many tennis fans and pundits
  watching Wimbledon were struck
  by Novak Djokovic's agitated state
  and odd post-match press conference
  when he said he was pulling out
  of some matches to spend some
  time with his family.

  The consensus around the Bisham
  Abbey tennis centre this week was
  that Djokovic was doing the right
  thing. Things haven't been so rosy
  at the Djokovic household since
  photos were published a few weeks
  back of the tennis star leaving
  a nightclub with Bollywood
  star Deepika Padukone.

 
-------------------------------
RIP Channel U's Darren Platt, the
man credited with making grime and 
British urban music go mainstream.

-------------------------------
 
    >> MTV Most Wanted <<
    Gentlemen prefer eights

  Richard Blackwood crashed and
  burned on Celebrity First Dates
  this week. When his blind date
  said she didn't fancy him,
  Blackwood claimed he was happy
  with the result. Why? "She's
  actually too good. She's a 10.
  I like girls that are an 8".

  We can vouch for that. Back
  when RB was on MTV Select
  they ran a ropey reality
  show to find him a sidekick
  called 'Is She MTV?'. According
  to someone who worked on the
  show, RB did what he could
  to work his way through the
  list of contestants, mainly
  choosing "white girls with
  large arses and big breasts,
  and wasn't too bothered
  about the face."

 
-------------------------------
US adults were surveyed on whether
they trust the news they get from
social media. 4% said yes.

-------------------------------

    >> The Right Honourable MC <<
    Disco goth to the Treasury

  Richard Madeley was dishing dirt
  on the new Chancellor – his old
  classmate, Philip Hammond – this
  morning, telling the nation what
  Popbitch readers have long known
  about Hammond being a bit of a
  long-haired goth when at school.

  Another interesting detail that
  Madeley didn't mention is that
  Young Hammond was also the owner
  of a mobile disco, which he ran
  around Shenfield and surrounding
  areas in Essex.
 
  He owned a set of decks and a PA,
  and went halves on the door
  proceeds with the classmate who
  was the DJ: Graham Norton.

  (Not that Graham Norton,
  sadly. Another one.)


 
-------------------------------
Owen Smith, challenging Corbyn for
the Labour leadership, washes his
hands after using the toilet.
Unlike Tom Watson.

-------------------------------

     >> Drinks cabinet <<
     Bottoms up, Liam!

  Disgraced former minister Liam Fox
  MP has returned to the cabinet,
  meaning we should probably now
  refer to him as disgraced current
  minister Liam Fox MP.

  Visitors to Fox's London Bridge
  lair tell us that he kept a fridge
  there that was entirely full of
  vodka. Apparently his capacity
  to drink the stuff and then rise
  early with no hangover was nothing
  short of astonishing.

 
-------------------------------
Old New Labour Jokes Home:
Q/ What is Angela Eagle's
favourite ska band?
A/ De Selecter.

-------------------------------
 
    >> PR pressure <<
    Lending a helping And


  It's five years to the week since
  the News of the World closed.
  Former editor Andy Coulson has
  been trying to shake off the long
  shadow cast by all those years
  of legal action (and subsequent
  stretch in prison) by starting
  up a PR consultancy.

  Coulson Chappell is a spin-off
  from Pitch (the sports PR agency
  run by Henry Chappell; bankrolled
  by Matthew Freud, long time friend
  of both Chappell and Coulson).

  Friends say Coulson intended to
  use his media skills and his
  political experience to develop
  a Tony Blair-style international
  consultancy for high-paying
  clients and governments whose
  reputations were in need of a
  bit of a massage.

  Clients have not been easy to
  come by though, so - despite
  having no real desire to develop
  a public profile of his own –
  Coulson has finally accepted
  advice that he needed to be
  seen out and about again.

  Favours were duly called in from
  old friends like Tom Bradby and
  Piers Morgan – so if you were
  wondering why Coulson was suddenly
  appearing on TV as a Brexit
  analyst, now you know.

 
*******************************
Media Masters podcast: LBC presenter
Iain Dale spills the beans on life
at the station and his seafront fight
with that homeless man to promote
Damian McBride's book. Listen.

*******************************
 
    >> Celebrity baby names <<
    Dave and Liv; wild at heart


  Liv Tyler and Dave Gardner (aka
  David Beckham's best mate) had
  their second child this week, a
  girl called Lula. Their other
  child is a boy called Sailor.

  If they sound familiar, it's
  because Sailor and Lula were
  the names of Nicholas Cage and
  Laura Dern's characters in the
  oddball David Lynch film,
  Wild At Heart.

 
-------------------------------
The name of the Philippines National
Police Chief who just retired with
P100million is... Vicente Loot!

-------------------------------
 
    >>  Global downturn <<
    Getting the house in order
   
  With Brexit biting already, Global
  Radio have had to cancel their
  staff party and Global Awards
  this week, blaming an expected
  downturn of ad revenue.

  Global CEO Ashley Tabor must
  be crossing his fingers that
  Brexit contagion doesn't affect
  the LA property market. He
  spent $25 million on buying
  up a couple of Megan Ellison
  (daughter of Larry)'s houses
  overlooking Sunset Strip – and
  has just had them both totally
  demolished, ready to rebuild
  as a properly swanky abode.

 
*****************************
Synthol Freaks - men (and a woman)
so desperate to get big they injected
their muscles with chemical sludge
until they deformed or exploded.

*****************************

     >> Hmmms <<
    Words, birds, pigfucking


  How big is your vocabulary?
  Here's a fun test to find out.

  Norwegian slow TV from Hornøya,
  a small island above the Arctic
  Circle with thousands of birds.

  Leslie Grantham (of Dirty Den
  and webcam-wanking fame) has
  written a YA book, and called
  his main character Jack Bates.

  The New Yorker's take
  on Brexit.

  Jimmy Page, Kevin Shields
  ...Brian May?

  A button to make everything OK.

  Farewell, David Cameron – proud
  owner of the third ickiest animal
  sex rumour of the modern era.

  Thanks so much to everyone who
  donated to us this month for a
  new email system (which we expect
  to launch end August).


************************************
Thanks to: VV, SG, IT, PR, MG, OR,
deep_stoat, AM, posh_duckhunter,
MS, PD, JC, Pursuivant, GC, LH
************************************

Old Jokes Home:
Theresa May moved into Downing St
with a baby pig under each arm.
The police guard on the front
door said "Nice pigs, Ma'am".

Mrs May replied, "These are not
just pigs, they're prize Gloucester
Old Spots. I got one for David
Cameron and one for George Osborne".

"Wow", replied the copper.
"Nice trade, Ma'am!"


Still Bored?
Kaboom! Want to know if your
home/office/loved ones are in
the blast radius of a nuclear
attack? Find out on this map.


 
Copyright © 2016 Popbitch, All rights reserved.
You subscribed to the Popbitch Newsletter which usually comes out on Thursdays.

Our mailing address is:
Popbitch
Poland St
London, London W1
United Kingdom

Add us to your address book


Want to change how you receive these emails?
You can update your preferences or unsubscribe from this list