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Comments from the week of 03.17.24

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Dear Mr. Keillor,

One of the pleasures of being a non-native speaker of English is the chance to discover new words from time to time. In this case it was the word “hornswoggled” that I found in your latest column.

I looked it up, of course, but I especially like the sound of it. So far “roundabout” has been one of my favourite words in the English language. I just like the sound and the impression, that you can actually feel its meaning. And that’s similar to “hornswoggled.”

So, there’s another favourite word on my list. It lightened up my morning.

Thanks a lot for that.

Olaf

Kassel, Germany

Olaf, I grew up among very polite Midwestern people so some of my favorite words were insults such as nincompoop, knucklehead, scatterbrain, doofus, dimwit, and of course dummkopf. I didn’t use those words but I thought them. And schnook and schlub. English is rich with synonyms for “stupid,” many more than for “lovely” or “noble.” My people were devout Christians and so I am unable to curse or use obscenity and make it sound real, but it turns out not to be a big problem. GK

GK,

You reminded me of a manager I had. He used to say goodbye with the following phrase:

Portate mal pa' que te vaya bien.

So, true.

Hiram Perez

“Be bad so things go well”??? Really? GK

GK,

I’ve recently discovered you and have been smiling ever since. You really are a remarkable writer. I’ve shared you with family and friends and love it when they hear the Wobegon tales because then we can talk about them and laugh together. Thank you for sharing your gift. I never write to people like this and assume you’ll never actually see this, but just had to give a shout out. Blessings!

Joy Doomy

They named you right, Joy. I am a remarkable writer for the fact that I enjoy doing it more now than when I was young and trying to make a reputation. I’m hoping that the work of making sense can fend off dementia into my nineties. We shall see. Thank you. GK

Dear Garrison,

In your last Post to the Host, you said, “I used to be an ambitious striver and now I feel the gravity of faith, the faith that God loves us and that this planet was not created for the purpose of extinction.” I too feel the gravity of faith, and I know God loves us every time I hear the choral version of Barber’s Adagio for Strings. Where we may differ — I believe God’s greatest gift to humankind is free will, and that God is offering us a choice. When you say “extinction,” you certainly know that if we humans don’t change we will die off, but the world will simply evolve. How will we choose? Will we choose obliviousness, greed, and selfishness? Or wisdom, generosity (to future generations), and the humility to embrace our true place in the natural world? Every day, with every action, we choose. Thanks!

R. Lee Procter

Amen, brother. GK

Garrison,
You mentioned a museum to heart surgery. You might be interested that 64 years ago in the summer of 1959, as a young boy of 10, I had my chest cut open by C. Walton Lillehei at the University of Minnesota Heart Hospital. He and his team of “Peds green surgeons” cut open my chest and then cut into my heart to sew a Dacron patch on a large hole between the ventricles. And, of all the miracles of life, here I am now 74 years later and quite healthy. Imagine the audacity that it took for this group of surgeons to be doing that kind of work. Dr Lillehei was a surgeon in World War II, and I imagine that he dealt with all kinds of traumatic bloody horrible wounds. The sterile controlled operating room with a skilled team to help and plenty of available blood must have must have seemed a blessing compared to the gory wounds he had to somehow fix in a field hospital. Indeed, there should be a museum devoted entirely to him and those who helped him develop the technology. They first created a pacemaker and then the heart-lung machine, which made these surgeries possible. They worked on dogs experimentally one day, and then the next day went into the operating room and worked on young children to try out their new techniques. The mortality was 40 percent or so if I recall my study of this subject. Indeed, I consider us boomers the fortunate generation because of all the technology that improves our lives as we inevitably decay. Artificial joints and replacement lenses for cataracts, heart surgeries all types, valves, bypasses, and all of the medications that try to overcome the abuse we’ve given our bodies over the years. Fortunate indeed.
You may have already found this information but other readers might be interested in Dr. Lillehei.
https://med.umn.edu/lhi/about/c-walton-lillehei#:~:text=The%20Father%20of%20Open%2DHeart,Minnesota%20on%20September%202%2C%201952.
Your article is the perfect antidote to all the people who say that we should remember the distorted views we’ve had of the past, and not admit or be embarrassed about the mistakes. You’ve provided the answer, which is to celebrate the accomplishments of everyone and instead of making memorials to our worst history, create great places for our children to live real lives with a better future. That’s what C. Walton did, to my lasting gratitude.
Richard
Saint Cloud, Minnesota

Thanks for your account, Richard. I’m glad you’re doing well. I’m one procedure ahead of you, having had the mitral valve sewn up by Dr. Orszulak and then the same valve replaced with a pig valve by Dr. Dearani. And I remember the awesomeness of being wheeled into those ORs, the keen sense of utter competence all around me, the discipline, the experience, which, along with the technology, got the job done. I felt no fear at all. Of course a sedative and muscle relaxant helped, but anxiety was within reach and I didn’t feel it. GK

GK,

What does it say about a society that gets more worked up about what students should read rather than how to protect the children from gun violence?

Randall Jay

The censors make a lot of noise but the shock of school shootings is very deep, very intense, and eventually gun controls will prevail. What the school shootings testify to is the fact that the NRA was a very efficient organization. GK

Hi, GK.

Do you have a favorite Easter memory? How did your family celebrate Easter when you were a kid? I’m looking forward to your show in Bethesda!

Jane Marz

We were Plymouth Brethren, strict fundamentalists, and we didn’t do anything for Easter. To us it seemed a commercial occasion for the marketing of candy, etc. We remembered Christ’s death and resurrection more or less constantly. GK

Hi, Garrison.

I agree totally that new museums should be established to recognize some of man’s incredible (and oddly unheralded) achievements. I thought your readers might like to hear of some little-known museums that do exist that are small bastions of gratefulness for American exceptionalism. Perhaps, considering your peripatetic lifestyle, you may have once visited one or two.

There is a Louis Armstrong Museum in Satchmo’s former home in Queens, New York, that celebrates the accomplishments of the man (many say) was the godfather of what we now call jazz.

There is the Dr James Naismith Museum in Almonte, Ontario, Canada, honoring the man who invented basketball. Naismith was born in Almonte, but I believe he moved to Springfield, Massachusetts, and became a coach at the local YMCA. Looking for a sport that would keep his athletes in shape over the winter, Naismith nailed two peach baskets to the gym’s walls, and presto, the game was on. Incidentally, the town of Almonte was named in honor of a Mexican General who had never visited Canada, but in a typically quaint Canadian gesture, Almonte’s forefathers liked the way the name “Almonte” rolled trippingly off the tongue, and so the town was christened.

And in Houston, Texas, there is The National Museum of Funeral History where the curious can experience exhibits elucidating the art of embalming, the death of popes, the curious habit (now considered off limits) of photographing loved ones as they lay in their final repose, and a walk down memory lane to revisit caskets of yore, including one specially constructed for a family of three.

Cheers!

Rick Whelan

Rick, you have an interesting mind and thanks for sharing your thoughts. I want to visit the funeral museum in Houston but I don’t want to be seen walking into it. I think Springfield, Mass., should have the Naismith museum but I won’t go look at it anyway. And I think Louis Armstrong’s memory is honored in New Orleans and parts of Chicago and Memphis more than in Queens. Queens is the borough of cemeteries. GK

Hi, Mr. Keillor.

My daughter-in-law is about to have her first book published by a small independent publisher. What advice do you have for her as she embarks on her writing career?

Mary P.

Traverse City, Michigan

Start on the next book. Learn to economize so you don’t have to work so many hours on other things. Dig in. And win the wholehearted support of your mother-in-law. GK

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In Boom Town, Garrison Keillor returns to his hometown of Lake Wobegon, which is in the midst of a rising economic tide driven by millennial entrepreneurs.

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