"In relationship, the primary cause of friction is oneself: the self that is the center of unified craving. If we can realize that it is not how another acts that is of primary importance, but how each one of us acts and reacts, and that if that reaction and action can be fundamentally, deeply understood—then relationship will undergo a deep and radical change. In this relationship with another, there is not only the physical problem but also that of thought and feeling on all levels, and one can be harmonious with another only when one is harmonious integrally in oneself. In relationship the important thing to bear in mind is not the other but oneself, which does not mean that one must isolate oneself, but understand deeply in oneself the cause of conflict and sorrow. So long as we depend on another for our psychological wellbeing—intellectually or emotionally—that dependence must inevitably create fear from which arises sorrow.

To understand the complexity of relationship there must be thoughtful patience and earnestness. Relationship is a process of self-revelation in which one discovers the hidden causes of sorrow. This self-revelation is only possible in relationship.

I am laying emphasis on relationship because in comprehending deeply its complexity, we are creating an understanding that transcends reason and emotion. If we base our understanding merely on reason then there is isolation, pride, and lack of love in it, and if we base our understanding merely on emotion, then there is no depth in it; there is only a sentimentality that soon evaporates, and no love. From this understanding only can there be completeness of action. This understanding is impersonal and cannot be destroyed. It is no longer at the behest of time. If we cannot bring forth understanding from the everyday problems of greed and of our relationship, then to seek such understanding and love in other realms of consciousness is to live in ignorance and illusion."

Excerpt from On Relationship
J. Krishnamurti

Sincerely,

 Jaap Sluijter
Executive Director