1. San Jose Shooter’s Ex: He Talked About Killing Colleagues

  ‘I NEVER BELIEVED HIM’ 

Samuel Cassidy’s ex-wife claims he used to talk about murdering his workmates, saying: “I never believed him, and it never happened. Until now.”

2. Amazon Reopens Site Where 7 Nooses Found, Finds 8th Noose

 ‘NOT TOLERATED’ 

The building was shut down last Wednesday to allow security measures to be installed after the discovery of the seventh noose.

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3. This Pillow Keeps Me Cool and Comfortable All Night Long

 CLOUD 9 

Not only is this pillow extremely comfortable, it stays the perfect temperature all night for a refreshing snooze.

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4. Top Doctor Warns Japan: Brace for ‘Olympic COVID Variant’

 ‘HUGE TRAGEDY’ 

The head the of the Japan Doctors Union has predicted that the Olympics melting pot could create a new virus mutation.

5. Biden Backs Trump’s Massive Alaska Oil Drilling Project

 OIL AND GASLIGHTING 

The plan, which was approved by the Trump administration in October, was blocked in court earlier this year.

6. I Don’t Leave The House Without This Super Sunscreen

 SAVING FACE 

Wearing sunscreen can keep your skin healthy years down the line, and Dr. Loretta’s Urban Antioxidant Sunscreen also makes you look good right now.

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7. Senate Confirms First Woman Army Sec—Then Takes It Back

 MARCHING ORDERS 

Within the space of a few hours, Christine Wormuth was confirmed and then unconfirmed to the Army’s top civilian post.

8. Gates Money Manager Fostered Toxic Work Environment: Report

 HOSTILE 

His company, Cascade Investment, reportedly had to make seven settlements with employees over his behavior.

9. Philly Fan Dumps Popcorn on Russell Westbrook After Injury

 RUDE 

Westbrook appeared incensed, but coaching staff stopped him from going into the stands.

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10. QAnon Shaman Offers Muffin Theft Prevention Video as Defense

 LEAST OF YOUR PROBLEMS 

Jacob Chansley’s defense lawyer cited a YouTube video titled “Jake Stops Muffin Stealing” in a motion for his pretrial release.

11. Naomi Osaka to Boycott Press at French Open

 NON, MERCI 

She says she’s protecting her mental health—even if it means getting fined.

12. Author of ‘The Very Hungry Caterpillar’ Dies at 91

 R.I.P. 

“A painter of rainbows is now traveling across the night sky,” Carle’s family wrote in a statement announcing his death.

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13. AP Editors on Emily Wilder Firing: ‘We Made Missteps’

 ‘MISTAKES OF PROCESS’ 

The news organization’s managing editor said “mistakes of process, and not of outcome” were made.

14. Witness Told to Prepare to Testify in Trump Probe: Report

 ON YOUR MARK... 

The Manhattan District Attorney’s office convened a grand jury this week to consider criminal charges against the former president.

15. QAnon Shaman Offers Muffin Theft Prevention Video as Defense

 LEAST OF YOUR PROBLEMS 

Jacob Chansley’s defense lawyer cited a YouTube video titled “Jake Stops Muffin Stealing” in a motion for his pretrial release.

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