1. Secret Service Intervened in Hunter Biden Gun Case: Report

  TRIGGER WARNING 

The Secret Service told Politico it has no record of its agents being involved in the bizarre case of Hunter Biden’s missing firearm in a Delaware incident.

2. Amazon: Workers Lying About Having to Pee in Plastic Bottles

 TAKING THE P*SS 

Rep. Mark Pocan (D-WI) ridiculed the company for describing itself as a “progressive workplace,” after the peeing allegations.

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3. Buy 3 Pairs of Underwear at Zappos and Save 20%

 SAVING YOUR BUTT 

If you’re in need of an underwear overhaul, this Zappos sale is the one for you.

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4. 30 Lawmakers Urge Biden Staff Reform After Daily Beast Story

 TIME FOR CHANGE 

The members of Congress wrote they were “dismayed to learn” about the action taken against staffers who had previously used marijuana.

5. AstraZeneca Releases New Vaxx Data After Fauci Scolding

 JUST AS GOOD 

Just like the numbers from earlier this week, the new set showed that the vaccine is 100 percent effective in preventing severe disease.

6. This Fruit-Shaped Device Will Keep Your Fridge Fresh

 BREATH OF FRESH AIR 

This battery-operated ionizer not only helps keep your fridge smelling fresh, but can also keep your food from going bad.

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7. Trump in Talks With Obscure ‘Power of Positivity’ App: Axios

 OPPOSITES ATTRACT 

The former president is reportedly mulling a partnership with the little-known good-vibes app as part of his recently reported plans to create a Twitter rival.

8. FBI Arrests Proud Boy Brothers on Capitol Riot Charges

 FAMILY FUN 

Matthew Klein and Jonathanpeter Klein face six counts of destruction of government property, conspiracy, and entering a restricted building.

9. Cuomo Had Health Dept Bump Up His Fam for Testing: Report

 FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS 

The governor’s office denied allegations of preferential treatment.

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10. Teen Girls, 13 and 15, Charged With Murder in DC Carjacking

 FATAL CONSEQUENCES 

The girls allegedly used a stun gun on the Uber Eats driver, causing the car to flip and killing him.

11. Chrissy Teigen Deletes Her Twitter Account

 ‘LIVE WELL, TWEETERS’ 

“I’ve always been portrayed as the strong clap back girl but I’m just not,” the model and celebrity chef wrote.

12. Body Found in Woods in 1977 ID’d as Ex-Cop’s Wife

 HALF-CRACKED CASE 

Her husband never reported her missing and told the kids she just packed her bags and left.

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13. Medium Recommended Joe Biden Read Erotica: Report

 ACCIDENT-PRONE ALGORITHM 

A manager for the company met with White House staff and saw among the recommended reads “A Is for After,” a story about cuckolds.

14. St. Louis Hockey Legend Bobby Plager Dies in Car Crash

 R.I.P. 

The longtime member of the Blues starting lineup was 78.

15. Virginia Bans the Death Penalty

 LAST WORDS 

The state is the first among the former Confederate states to repeal capital punishment.

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