| Hey, there. The holidays are upon us. Often I hear people talk about “surviving” the holidays. I read “holiday survival guides” and the like. I’ve even used the term myself in the same way on occasion. Between he holiday routines, the carb-happy buffets, the office parties, the in-laws’ visit, the onslaught of expenses – it’s a lot on our minds this time of year. “Surviving the holidays” suggests to me a distant and unhappy (or at least blasé) tolerance of it. The truth is, I always enjoy this time of year in my own way. The gargantuan expectations wear on me, but I don’t let that stop me from making these weeks some of the best of the year. I do what I enjoy and what makes me feel revitalized. I spend time with family. I do a bit of traveling. I usually snowboard to get a week of true winter experience and to just get away from the business of life for a while. I also say no to a lot of things I’d rather not do. When it’s time to change the calendar, the fact is, the holidays were ultimately my holidays as much as anyone else’s. I don’t anticipate getting these weeks of my life back at a later time through the tail end of a random time warp. I hope I can do more than tolerate this or any other period of my life. I’d like to think my Primal perspective (and basic sense of life expectancy) asks it of me. They say when you say yes to something, you’re intrinsically saying no to something else because every yes is a directing of time and focus. What are you saying yes to these holiday weeks? Are they keeping you away from the things that make you feel healthy and happy? What good things are you saying yes to? Sometimes it’s not quite as much the things themselves (e.g. events, gatherings, etc.) as the attitude and expectations we bring to them. Take a step back, and think for a moment about the energy you’re bringing to something holiday-related: a gift you’ll give, a visit you’ll make, a dish you’ll cook, a party you’ll attend, a dinner you’ll share, an activity you’ll participate in. That energy – does it rise from a genuine place? Does it feel positive? I love the chance to get out more and get involved. Or does it feel like a nagging stressor? How many months will it take to pay off all these gifts and travel expenses? Does it breed gratitude and goodwill? It will be so good to see them again. I’ve really missed our old times together. Or a half-conscious sense of resentment? Seeing my cousins reminds me of how horribly their side of the family used to treat my side when we were younger. When it comes to stress, how do our choices set us up? What would make us feel abundant this holiday? Maybe it’s not what others do or what we’ve done in the past. What could we buy or not buy, what experiences would we prioritize, what time could we preserve, what kinds of play would we enjoy? How much would we get outside? What new adventures would we try? What are the activities you would like to make a tradition because they fill the well for you and expand your and your family’s joy? Likewise, what cultural or family routines should we, for our own sake, let go of? It’s a personal question but an important one. When we decide to do more than survive – a season or a situation, we take responsibility for our experience and choices to a new level. We become responsible for our own happiness. The holiday – or life in general – becomes that much richer in possibility. The healthiest thing we can often do for ourselves is be honest about what we need. The answer – especially this time of year – might not be convenient, but the result will always be worth it. | 