I feel different this year... I feel a lot more courageous with less resistance to move forward.
I’m associating it with a couple of things. One is my parents. My mother died just before Christmas. This has caused a couple of things to happen: I no longer have to worry about what she thinks if she hears about anything I’ve put out there. And… she was my last connection to my father who is now in a long-term care facility with severe dementia. Summed up, I can no longer disappoint my parents. The second thing is… the fear and shame and guilt that my father somehow still had over me… it broke. That crushing and threatening presence and constant voice in my head. Simply broke. It just… left! The constant second-guessing and self-sabotaging of myself is gone. Weirdly, it all happened at the beginning of a new year. But I feel this is massively important. Not just for me, but for those I’m helping and going to help. The first… realizing I was free from disappointing my parents… came through journalling. The second… breaking the shame, fear, and guilt I felt about my father… came through a very intense counseling session. So, I guess I’m encouraging us to do the work. The self-work. Alone at least. With a guide if you can. | 
