My very important thoughts on Jurassic World Rebirth. My very important thoughts on Independence Day cinema. The article that blew my mind. Protect Dakota Johnson at all costs. Can’t unsee it.
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Obviously the Best Part of Jurassic World Rebirth
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There’s a moment early on in Jurassic World Rebirth that, in the great tradition of Steven Spielberg’s first film in the franchise three decades ago, takes your breath away. It’s an involuntary physical response, almost like a choking in awe of the transcendent cinematic moment that you can’t believe you’re witnessing—the reason films are made and the wonder that they bring matters.
I am talking, of course, of the first time we see Jonathan Bailey’s “sl*tty little glasses.”
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More than any impressive new dinosaur or CGI achievement that the latest entry in the paleoblockbuster franchise shows off, it’s the pair of Cubits spectacles with hexagonal titanium frames—sitting in all their Hot Nerd glory on the Wicked and Bridgerton star’s perfect face—that have garnered the lion’s share of the film’s pre-release attention. For those whose entire algorithm hasn’t become one blasting firehose of fancam videos of Jonathan Bailey looking dashing and adorable (certainly not me…), culture commentator Blakely Thornton cheekily coined the term when first images of the actor in costume as Dr. Henry Loomis in the film were released. Whatever the description means—Do the glasses make the wearer more alluring? Are the glasses themselves sexy? Are the little lenses merely an amplifier of Bailey’s already existing allure?—Bailey has leaned into it. Glasses and jokes about “sl*ty little” everythings became a part of every press stop. |
So hyped were these specs that I reflexively clapped when I saw them during my Jurassic World Rebirth screening. (I have nothing to say to the woman who immediately turned to me and scowled.) In fact, I think they’re emblematic of what makes the movie so fun. Gone is the notion that any Jurassic Park sequel will be the triumph of tension and terror that Spielberg created. Here is the era when they’re just plain goofy (complimentary). Being as excited for a character’s viral eyewear as the introduction of the most supersized beast the franchise has introduced yet epitomizes the attitude that watching Jurassic World Rebirth is best served by. Sure, you're watching a mediocre movie that panders to the lowest common denominator: One of the “big scares” of the film takes place while a character is urinating; a precious baby dino stops by to give Baby Yoda a run for his toy merch money. But if you choose to unabashedly embrace all the silliness and the film’s broad nature, you’ll have a blast. Clap for the glasses! |
