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GM. This is Milk Road. We add so much color & flavor to daily crypto news you might just taste the rainbow.

Here’s what we got today:

GARY GENSLER GETS ROASTED BY CONGRESS 🔥

Yesterday, the U.S. House Financial Services Committee held a hearing.

It was titled Oversight of the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC). 

It’s like a performance review for work.

Except instead of getting grilled by HR, you get roasted by a group of Congress members - all while being live-streamed on the Internet.

The man of the hour: Gary Gensler.

Now, I doubt Gary had “get cooked into a Congressional kebab” on his to-do list yesterday, but that’s exactly what happened.

The hearing lasted over 5 hours, but we’ve rounded up all the best moments:

1/ Congressman Tom Emmer calls Gary out for being loyal to large institutions rather than American citizens.

Mr. Emmer is known for calling Gary an “incompetent cop on the beat” during the last Congressional hearing.

Here’s what he said this time:

“It cannot be understated that a common theme throughout your career, sir, is relentless loyalty to the largest financial institutions at the clear expense of innovation, competition, and everyday Americans. “

Boom. Roasted.

2/ Congressman Ritchie Torres questions Gary on the difference between trading Pokemon cards and “tokenized” Pokemon cards.

This was probably the biggest “gotcha” moment in the entire hearing.

Mr. Torres asked a few basic questions about investment contracts.

Gary (the guy who’s supposed to know basic questions about investment contracts) struggled to answer.

Then Gary was asked two simple questions…

Question 1: “If I purchase a Pokemon card, is that a security transaction?”

Gary’s answer: “That’s not a security.”

Question 2: “If I purchase a tokenized Pokemon card via a blockchain, is that a security transaction?”

Gary’s answer: “I’d have to know more.”

Mr. Torres’ response after the hearing: “Chair Gensler’s answer to my questions were as incoherent as his overall approach to regulating crypto.”

Boom. Roasted.

**static noise**

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**static noise**

Okay, now back to the roasting…

3/ Congressman Warren Davidson introduces a bill to fire Gary Gensler.

Congressman Warren Davidson is the guy who introduced the SEC Stabilization Act to fire Gary Gensler and restructure the agency.

Here’s what Mr. Davidson said to Gary yesterday:

“You’re front-running Congress. You’re front-running the courts. You’re front-running even your own administration. And no one has held you to account for that. I wish the Biden administration would say ‘you’re fired’, [...], but Congress hopefully will.”

Boom. Roasted.

4/ Congressman Andy Barr (my new hero) calls Gary the “Tonya Harding of securities regulation”

This was hands-down the milkiest quote of the day. (in the rap game, this is called a “bar”.)

It came from none other than… Andy Barr. He was born for these moments.

Here’s what Mr. Barr said:

“With all due respect, Mr. Chairman… if the U.S. capital markets are a gold medalist, you are the Tonya Harding of securities regulation, because you are knee-capping the U.S. capital markets with the avalanche of red tape coming out of your commission.”

Boom. Roasted.

Now, in case you don’t know who Tonya Harding is:

And comparing Gary Gensler to Tonya Harding was the **chef’s kiss** of the entire hearing.

Milk Road’s Final Take: There were a few big takeaways…

1/ If you ever want to cut someone off from talking during an argument, just yell “I reclaim my time!”.

2/ Andy Barr could be Drake’s ghostwriter.

3/ Some of these Congress members would crush in a “Yo Mama” roast battle.

Okay, all jokes aside… the biggest takeaway is that this was a HUGE win for the future of crypto regulation in the U.S.

We’ll cheers to that.

“Alexa, play ‘It Was A Good Day’ by Ice Cube.”

THIS GUY IS TURNING USED VEGETABLE OIL INTO BITCOIN 👀

Check it out. This was the coolest thing I saw all day…

$300/month might not sound like a lot, but in Guatemala, that’s more than half of the average monthly wage (!!).

You know what they say…. “one man’s trash is another man’s treasure.”

BITE-SIZED COOKIES 🍪

Kraken is exploring the option to offer stocks and ETFs for trading. It’s reported the service could launch as soon as 2024.

Coinbase is rolling out perpetual futures trading to non-U.S. retail investors. The crypto exchange secured approval from the Bermuda Monetary Authority and will launch the product “in the coming weeks”.

Sam Bankman-Fried gets approval to wear a suit and use an “air-gapped” laptop during his trial. Get your popcorn ready, the trial is scheduled to start on October 3.

The SEC has delayed the deadline for a handful of Ethereum spot ETF filings. The new date is set for December 26. Fingers crossed we get a Christmas Miracle…

Facebook teased the launch of new smart glasses, A.I. chatbots, and a new VR headset. We’ll be diving deeper into this tomorrow, but ladies & gents, we just got one step closer to the *metaverse*.

MILKY MEMES 🤣

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DISCLAIMER: None of this is financial advice. This newsletter is strictly educational and is not investment advice or a solicitation to buy or sell any assets or to make any financial decisions. Please be careful and do your own research.