Things To Do This Week In London: 18-24 March 2024

All week

LESLIE LIAO: US comedian Lesley Liao makes her London debut at Soho Theatre. Her show, The Nighttime Routine, is a look at the life and loves of a single Chinese-American woman living in LA. 18-23 March

HUMAN RIGHTS FILMS: The Human Rights Watch Film Festival continues all week, with screenings of films which bear witness to human rights violations all over the world. Among this week's programme is Power Alley (Levante), about a woman seeking an abortion in Brazil, and Trees of Violence, a documentary about graphic journalist Vika Lomasko in Putin's Russia. Until 24 March

FLARE: Film fans are well catered for, as BFI Flare continues this week too. The LGBTQI+ film festival spans feature films and shorts from 41 countries, and highlighs this week include Studio One Forever, a celebration of the legendary Hollywood disco, and Heavy Snow, a Korean film about two teenagers who meet on a beach. Many screenings have already sold out, so be quick if you want in. Until 24 March

TEENAGE CANCER TRUST: The Who, Noel Gallagher and the High Flying Birds, and The Chemical Brothers are among the headliners at a series of gigs in aid of the Teenage Cancer Trust, taking place at the Royal Albert Hall this week. 18-24 March

WHERE'S WALLY: This year's Where's Wally Fun Run is completely remote, meaning you can take place wherever you are, with no central event. Don your best Where's Wally stripes, choose whether to run 1km, 5km or 10km — and get sponsored in aid of The National Literacy Trust. W/C 18 March

HOLI FESTIVAL: The House of Holi pop-up continues all week at Cinnamon Kitchen City, to celebrate the Hindu festival of Holi (which falls on 25 March this year). The Indian restaurant has a technicolour paint throwing pod for diners to enjoy, before tucking into a Holi cocktail and a nine-course feasting menu in the restaurant. Until 25 March

LITERARY FOOTPRINTS: Constable's Hampstead; Peter Ackroyd's East End; books about Waterloo; the real-life Wolf Hall. Just some of the topics and places covered by the Literary Footprints programme this week. The month-long festival of book-themed walks and tours is organised and led by Footprints of London guides. Until 31 March

CABARET OF THE WEEK: Offering a decadent night of cabaret theatre, Roxie Rocks Chicago is a spin on the classic Chicago storyline, with dance routines, circus acts and vocalists — plus various food courses. It's on at The London Cabaret Club in Bloomsbury. Until 22 June

PUB OF THE WEEK: It's been a while since we had a pint in Peckham's Greyhound, but it's just had a glow-up, courtesy of DIY party crew The Cause. With its vintage charm retained, there's a fresh choice of craft beer and cocktails — plus music from local outfits like Rye Wax, Balamii, Dash The Henge and the Rising Sun Collective — and from 19 March, a kitchen serving burgers, fish finger sandwiches and sausage and mash.

Monday 18 March

IMMIGRATION DETENTION: The detention and treatment of immigrants is the topic of ongoing discussion. Photos and testimonies are used in tonight's Gresham College lecture to illustrate what immigration detention looks like for those experiencing it, and how that reflects on the societies who are detaining immigrants. FREE, 6pm

DARK FAIRY TALES: Enjoy a glass of Devil’s Botany Absinthe as you listen to master storyteller Viktor Wynd telling dark fairytales from around the world. Giant Octopuses, man-eating pigs, a buried moon from Papua New Guinea, and shapeshifting magical creatures from Wales all feature, in the event at The Last Tuesday Society in Hackney. 6.30pm-7.30pm

FREE WILL: Do we act on our own free will? Many scientists believe that the idea of agency or free will is just an illusion, but tonight at the Royal Institution, neuroscientist Kevin Mitchell argues that we are not mere machines responding to physical forces but agents acting with purpose. Hear his evidence, based on billions of years of evolution. 7pm-8.30pm

HAPPY MONDAYS COMEDY: There's a line-up of special guest comedy stars at tonight's Happy Mondays Comedy, which takes place at the Amersham Arms in New Cross as usual. No word yet on who's performing, but past guests have included Sophie Duker, Katherine Ryan, Phil Wang and Greg Davies. 8pm

MONDAYS IN LONDON: Looking for something else to do, today or any other week? Take a look at our guide to things to do in London on a Monday — we've gathered together live music venues, comedy and cabaret clubs which keep going on what is usually the quietest day of the week, along with guided walks and tours scheduled on a Monday, and a few special offers too.

Tuesday 19 March

KAREN: One-woman show Karen opens at The Other Palace tonight, with a protagonist dealing with the fall-out of being dumped on her 30th birthday at Alton Towers. The production has been described as 'the female Peep Show', breaking down the fourth wall to take the audience into the chaos-filled narrative. 19-24 March

VAULT GALA: Following the recent Pinch of VAULT Festival, the team are back with the first ever VAULT Gala, a fundraising event to help the performing arts company open its first permanent venue in central London later this year. The event takes place at Shoreditch Town Hall, with Sophie Duker hosting, plus drag queen Lolo Brow, stand-up comedian Olga Koch, drag king Beau Jangles, and other performers. 6pm-11pm

JEWISH FASHION DESIGNERS: Tying in with the current Fashion City exhibition, the Museum of London Docklands stays open late for a panel discussion about the Jewish designers, makers and retailers who made London’s West End a fashion destination. The panel includes fashion and business historian Dr Liz Tregenza, and Danielle Sprecher, curator of the Westminster Menswear Archive at the University of Westminster. 6.30pm

DRIFT: Catch a preview screening of Drift, about a refugee from Liberia and a local tour guide who strike up a friendship on a Greek island. After the film, at Barbican Cinema, there's a talk with the director Anthony Shen. 6.30pm

LATE LATE ELECTRONIC: Tonight's Late Late performance at Ronnie Scott's Jazz Club stars Qwalia, a collective of musicians who individually have performed with the likes of David Byrne, Frank Ocean, and Cat Stevens. Stay out late to hear an experimental blend of psychedelic jazz, funk, folk, ambient and avant-pop. 11.15pm

Wednesday 20 March

ITALIAN FILMS: Film festival Cinema Made In Italy takes place at Institut Francais in South Kensington, screening 11 Italian films over five days. It begins today with Comandante, a wartime drama featuring an Italian naval captain taking the decision to rescue 26 Belgians. 20-24 March

ART AFTER HOURS: Art editor, writer and consultant Ashleigh Kane leads an Art After Hours private gallery tour, visiting a selection of galleries in Fitzrovia. See a solo show of mixed media works by Chinese-American artist Xiaoze Xie, a show by Kimathi Donkor at Niru Ratnam’s new eponymous gallery, and works by South African-born, London-based artist HelenA Pritchard at TJ Boulting. There's also the option to join Kane for a meal before the tour. 5pm-8pm

GENTLEMAN JACK: Historical figure Anne Lister became better-known through TV show Gentleman Jack. Tonight, there's a chance to learn more about the 19th century landowner and diarist at LSE, where Dr Jill Liddington and Dr Paul Stock debate whether she was a pioneer feminist or an 'old Tory squire'. FREE, 6pm-7.30pm

SHIRLEY HUGHES: Clara Vulliamy, the daughter of late artist and children's author Shirley Hughes, celebrates her mother's career. See some of Hughes' early work including holiday sketchbooks. You can watch in person at the St Bride's Foundation, or online. 7pm-8.30pm

THE MANNY: A dark comedy about an Irish male nanny who works for rich single mums in West London, The Manny is performed at the Pleasance Theatre in Islington. 7.30pm (repeated on Saturday)

Thursday 21 March

BOOK FESTIVAL: The North London Book Festival opens at Alexandra Palace today, with big names including Natalie Haynes, Peter Hain, Lemony Snicket, Erin Kelly and Michael Rosen all making appearances over the next few days. 21-24 March

PRINT FAIR: Print dealers and publishers from around the world gather at Somerset House for the 39th London Original Print Fair, which claims to be London's longest running art fair. Works by new artists are for sale alongside those by more established artists, with pieces by Hockney, Rego, Milhazes, Picasso and Matisse all on display. Particularly exciting is the promise of new work by Londonist favourite Adam Dant. 21-24 March

THE CLANGERS: Simon Postgate, son of animator and puppeteer Oliver Postgate, is at the Cartoon Museum in Bloomsbury to talk about his father's programme, The Clangers. Simon was a young boy when the programme was created, so talks about its making from his own perspective. 6pm-7.30pm

TUDOR HISTORY: Reformation England expert Dr Lucy Wooding is at Southwark Cathedral to discuss her new book, Tudor England: A History. As well as the Tudor monarchs, Wooding tells the stories of everyday people living in cities, towns, and villages, families and communities through times of great upheaval. 6.30pm-8pm

RHYS JAMES: Comedian Rhys James headlines a live comedy night at Big Penny Social in Walthamstow, with support from Liam Withnail, Rajiv Karia and Alexandra Haddow. 8pm-10pm

Friday 22 March

IDEAL HOME SHOW: Pimp up your pad at the Ideal Home Show at Olympia. Interior designers, furniture suppliers, window and conservatory installation services, candle brands, home accessory stores, and garden DIY experts congregate under one roof to help you make the changes you want in your home. 22 March-7 April

FANCIFUL FIGURES: Sir John Soane's Museum has a new exhibition from today until 9 June. It looks at ‘staffage’, the small human and animal figures in architectural drawings, which became increasingly popular during the eighteenth century. FREE entry to museum and exhibition

EAT & DRINK FESTIVAL: As part of the Ideal Home Show, Eat & Drink Festival is also at Olympia, aimed at London's foodie types. Tuck into all manner of street food at The Great Eat, stock up your kitchen cupboards with produce from the Artisan Producers Market, and pick up tips, inspiration and possibly a new recipe or two from celebrity chefs on the Eat & Drink Stage. 22 March-7 April

COGNAC SHOW Fancy getting your chops around some high quality liquor? The Cognac Show arrives at Glaziers Hall in London Bridge today, offering you the chance to sample over 250 cognacs, armagnacs and calvadoses, and chat to the people who make and sell them. Ticket price includes a dram, two cocktails and a tasting glass. 12pm-6pm and 5.30pm-9.30pm (also tomorrow)

LOST MEDIEVAL ISLAND: Ever heard of Ravenser Odd? It was an island that appeared at the mouth of the Humber in the 1230s, and was washed away 130 years later. Find out about its short life as a wealthy but lawless port and hear stories of shipwrecks and piracy in today's online talk by the National Archives, delivered by Kathryn Maude, Head of Medieval Collections at The National Archives, and Emily Robinson, Reader in British Studies at the University of Sussex. 2pm

SHENZHEN SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA: Fairfield Halls in Croydon continues its series of international concerts with a performance by the China Shenzhen Symphony Orchestra. As part of its first UK tour, the 100-strong orchestra performs a range of pieces, including excerpts from the film score of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, Poème by Ernest Chausson, and Mahler’s First Symphony. 7.30pm

ROMEO AND JULIET:The London Philharmonic Orchestra celebrates Romeo and Juliet in a special concert at Southbank Centre, performing a musical retelling of Prokofiev’s ballet Romeo and Juliet, along with the love theme from Tchaikovsky’s Romeo and Juliet Overture, as well as Mozart’s Violin Concerto No.3. 7.30pm

Saturday 23 March

SOUNDS OF BLOSSOM: Kew Gardens is going all out for blossom season this year, with a musical soundtrack playing in the gardens' blossom hotspots. The new pieces of music were composed and recorded by students from the Royal College of Music, and are included in your entry ticket. 23 March-14 April

MODEL RAILWAY SHOW: Chug down to south London for the Beckenham and West Wickham Vintage Model Railway Show. Up to 12 layouts from the likes of Hornby, Hornby Dublo, Bassett-Lowke, Marklin, Triang and Chad Valley will be on display, and specialist traders will be present, selling you what you need to work on your own layout at home. 10am-4.30pm

JAPANESE BRUNCH: Apothecary East in Shoreditch is doing a Winter Highball brunch on Saturdays, featuring small plates of things like miso scrambled eggs and karaage fried chicken, plus snacks, dessert and side — plus a mimosa or sake bomb on arrival. There are also the usual options to plus-up and go bottomless on drinks. 12pm-4.30pm

DEATH IN THE BRITISH MUSEUM: Historian and guide Sheldon K Goodman leads a tour around the British Museum, looking at objects with a close connection to death. 1.30pm-3.3opm

SOLDIERS ON SCREEN: As part of its Soldiers On Screen series, the National Army Museum in Chelsea screens The Life and Death of Colonel Blimp. The 1943 wartime satire recounts the life of Colonel Blimp, from his time as a young soldier in the Boer War through to his service in both world wars. Afterwards, a panel of experts explores the film's themes and examines its impact. 1.45pm-5.45pm

RIVER RACE: The Head of the River Race is rowed annually from Mortlake to Putney, with up to 400 crews of eights taking part. Get down to the river's edge to watch the action. FREE to watch, 3.15pm

EPPING STAR WALK: London's not renowned for its stargazing potential, but there are places on the fringes of the metropolis that are excellent for getting a good gawp at the night sky — as Dark Sky London will prove tonight. On this guided walk in Epping Forest, you'll learn various stars and constellations, and hear about the history of astronomy in London. 7pm-9pm

CANDLELIGHT CLUB: Glamorous speakeasy night The Candlelight Club pops up in a secret south London mansion (with its own ballroom) for an evening of drinking and dancing. Entertainment at the Spring Ball includes live jazz music, vintage vinyl records, burlesque performances and tarot readings, all hosted by Champagne Charlie. 1920s gladrags are required, and there's the opportunity to book for dinner too. 7pm-1am

EARTH HOUR: For one hour on Saturday evening, London's switching the lights off for WWF's Earth Hour, raising awareness of the effects of global warming. Individual businesses and households are encouraged to take part by turning off the lights, but several of the capital's major landmarks will be plunged into darkness too. FREE, 8.30pm

Sunday 24 March

PALACE HALF: If ever a half marathon route was fit for a king/queen, it's the Palace Half. Start your run at the gates of Hampton Court Palace and take in the local area — including crossing the Thames twice, before finishing in the palace gardens. Plenty of charities are still looking for runners to take part on their behalf. Not a runner? Why not head down there anyway to cheer them on? 9am

ANTIQUES FAIR: It's that time of month again — Westminster's Royal Horticultural Halls are taken over by the Adams Antiques Fair, bringing together 120 antiques dealers from across the UK selling antique jewellery, silver, decorative pieces and collectables. 10am-4.30pm

MIDCENTURY MODERN: 85 midcentury dealers and modern designers descend on Dulwich College to sell film posters and artwork, furniture, lighting, rugs, textiles, ceramics, wallpaper and more, dating from the 20th century. The Midcentury Modern also has food vans on site, and if you can wait until after 3pm, entry is free. 10am-4pm

POLISH CINEMA: Watermans in Brentford is screening new film Scarborn (Kos) as part of its Polish Film festival. A black comedy with echoes of Tarantino, the screening is introduced by Michael Brooke, a freelance writer specialising in central/eastern European cinema, who'll give you some background on Polish black comedy. 1pm

FEMALE SLEUTHS: Women’s history author Caitlin Davies talks about some of the real life female detectives who have been investigating crime since the mid-19th century. Often incorrectly portrayed as busybody spinsters in popular culture, hear about women who have solved cases spanning burglary, missing people, blackmail, drug dealing, marriage scams and murder. Takes place at Conway Hall, with a livestream also available. 3pm-4.30pm

VULTURE CAPITALISM: Author, journalist and political commentator Grace Blakeley shares her views on where capitalism has gone wrong. In an event at Southbank Centre to launch her new book, Vulture Capitalism, Blakeley talks to activist Mikaela Loach about how governments have shifted away from competition and democracy and towards monopoly and control. 3pm

ASPYRIAN: MAP Studio Cafe Kentish Town has Aspyrian in the house tonight, a trio who blend jazz with an array of folk music traditions from different corners of the world. They'll play two sets with an interval in between. 7.30pm

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