All week
I HATE IT HERE: I Hate it Here is an interactive piece of theatre about zero hours contracts and instability. Audience members at the Pleasance Theatre will participate in game shows, sign up for shifts, and have the chance to win at bingo, all to raise awareness of everything that's wrong with zero hours contracts. Until 11 March
AVERAGE BEAR: Comedian, singer and actor Michelle Brasier brings her current show, Average Bear, to Soho Theatre for six late-night shows this week. Hear about her personal experience living in the shadows of an hereditary illness, interwoven with the fictional story of Average, a bear with a problematic fear of hibernation, for a real rollercoaster ride of emotions. 6-11 March
CEZANNE: Tate Modern's Cezanne exhibition displays the still lifes, landscapes and paintings of French artist Paul Cezanne, showing how his tendency to break the rules changed painting forever — and this is its final week. Our art critic gave it a 5* review. Until 12 March
VAULT FESTIVAL: Performing arts extravaganza VAULT Festival enters its penultimate week, in its final year at its current venue. Book now for a dose of theatre, comedy, cabaret, burlesque and other treats, as the event faces an uncertain future. Until 19 March
DAY TRIPS: Fancy getting out of London for a bit as spring approaches? Have a browse of our Beyond London section, where we've got inspiration for day trips and weekends away from the capital, whether you're after quirky seaside attractions, a UK city break, or something a bit further afield.
COCKNEYS: Last Friday was apparently Speak Cockney Day, but the celebration of traditional London identities continues for another month with the Modern Cockney Festival. Across numerous events, the festival "provides a space for anyone across all colours, creeds or religions with an affinity with the ‘common Londoner’ to explore, reconnect and celebrate who they are, and how they relate to the evolving Cockney identity."
PUB OF THE WEEK: Do you like your boozers non-fussy, carpeted and flowing with real ale? The Sultan in Wimbledon is for you. The suburban gem serves up Hopback beers — think Citra, Summer Lightning, Crop Circle — and is, as far as we know, the only one of its kind in London.
EAT OF THE WEEK: Shell out on delicious bivalves — our updated guide to slurping oysters in the city covers cajun spice-dusted Maldons, to good old fashioned Colchesters with a squeeze of lemon and a side of brown bread.
FREE THINGS TO DO: Trying to watch the pennies at the moment? We hear you, which is why we've compiled a list of 102 free things to do in London, to keep you entertained every day of the week, on the cheap. We've also mapped London's best free museums, galleries and other attractions, to help you navigate around them.
Monday 6 March
LUNCHTIME RECITAL: Get your week off to a civilised start with a lunchtime recital at Blackheath Halls. The prize-winning Astatine Trio perform works by French composer Germaine Tailleferre and German composer Felix Mendelssohn in the venue's Hearn Recital Room. 1.10pm
SECRET WRITING: Footprints of London guide David Charnick leads a guided walking tour focusing on fictional spies, moles and agents provocateurs. It begins outside the Palace Theatre on Shaftesbury Avenue, lasts two hours, and is part of the current Literary Footprints festival. 2pm-4pm
THE FIVE DEVILS: As part of Glasgow Film Festival on Tour, Cine Lumiere in South Kensington screens The Five Devils, about a woman who has a special talent to be able to recreate any scent she comes across, leading to the untangling of past family secrets. 6pm
POETRY NIGHT: Spoken word poet Rohan Samuel hosts Bring Your Own Bars, an evening of live poetry at Boxpark Wembley. You can sign up for open mic slots on the door, and DJ Haroon Khan plays in between performances. FREE, 6pm-10pm
NEW MOON: Putney's Half Moon pub hosts New Moon, a new music and poetry night, shining a spotlight on up-and-coming bands, singer-songwriters and poets. Tonight hear from spoken word artist Big Manatee, pop singer-songwriter Pixia, UK songwriting competition finalist Bastie, and Italian singer-songwriter Francesca Guerra. 7.30pm
Tuesday 7 March
WREN'S MATHS: Today's Gresham College lecture focuses on how Sir Christopher Wren used maths in his architectural work. Constructing domes and spires on buildings such as St Paul's Cathedral required complicated equations to build correctly. Part of the Wren 300 series of lectures. FREE, 1pm
BRITISH TREASURES: Hear from Dr William Sterling about 10 treasures in the British Museum which were found here in the UK. For this free online talk hosted by Guildhall Library, Sterling talks through 10 objects, from the well-known such as the Sutton Hoo treasure, to lesser-known artefacts. FREE, 2pm-3pm
HOLI SUPPER CLUB: Cinnamon Kitchen near Liverpool Street celebrates Holi Festival with a special supper club by renowned Indian chef Vivek Singh. Tuck into five courses and also visit the Holi Pod, where you can pelt family and friends with paint to mark the Indian festival of colour. 6pm-9.30pm
BOXPARK QUIZ: Grab your smartest friends and head for Boxpark Wembley, where it's quiz night. DJ Reno takes you through a series of questions spanning travel, current affairs, culture, music and more. Expect things to get lively. 7pm-9pm
UKRAINE ON FILM: Today sees the launch of a short short season of films and discussions at King's College, focused on Ukraine through the female lens. Things kick off with a screening of Invisible Battalion, showing women on the frontline. One of the directors, Svitlana Lishchinskaya, appears for a Zoom Q&A after the screening. 7pm-9.30pm
NOBODY PANIC: Popular podcast Nobody Panic is at Soho Theatre for a live recording. Comedians Stevie Martin and Tessa Coates host, asking and answering questions to help you navigate through adult life. 7.30pm
Wednesday 8 March
INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY: 8 March is International Women's Day — look out for events taking place around the capital and beyond to mark the occasion.
SCI-FI FILM FEST: Science Museum launches the Science Fiction Film Festival, tying in with its current Science Fiction exhibition. Watch classic films from the sci-fi genre, along with newer releases, in the museum's IMAX screen. 2001: A Space Odyssey, Alien, The X Files and Blade Runner all feature. 8-12 March
TRAVIS ALABANZA: Performance artist Travis Alabanza performs their show Burgerz in a final run at Southbank Centre. Born as a result of someone throwing a burger at Alabanza as part of a transphobic slur, it explores the trans experience through the medium of burgers. 8-12 March
BALLET BLACK: British dance company Ballet Black was established to address the lack of diversity in professional ballet, by championing Black and Asian performers. From today until Sunday, catch the company in a double bill of new and original work at Barbican, choreographed by Will Tuckett and Mthuthuzeli November. 8-12 March
QUEEN'S CORGIS: The Wallace Collection unveils a free new display, The Queen and her Corgis, featuring photographs depicting the late monarch's close relationship with the dog breed. FREE, 8 March-25 June
ONLINE CURATOR TOUR: Hear stories of traitors between the 1350s and 1940s at this online talk by curators of the National Archives' current exhibition, Treason: People, Power & Plot. Find out who was convicted, who was acquitted, and how British law relating to treason has been shaped and revised over time. FREE, 7.30pm
Thursday 9 March
DISNEY ON ICE: A treat normally reserved for the Christmas period, family show Disney On Ice returns to Wembley with new production Discover the Magic, featuring modern and classic Disney characters from Coco, Frozen, Toy Story, Beauty and the Beast and others. 9-12 March
AFFORDABLE ART FAIR: Prices for artworks start at £50 at the Affordable Art Fair, which is held at Evolution Battersea. Thousands of contemporary artworks are for sale, with special events including DJs, late night openings, and a mural created live on site. 9-12 March
THE OTHER ART FAIR: The Other Art Fair takes over the Old Truman Brewery for four days of artwork that's accessible to all. Affordable and original pieces are up for grabs, alongside immersive installations, live performances and a bar. 9-12 March
ITALIAN FILMS: 12 different films are screened at mini festival Cinema Made In Italy at Cine Lumiere. Fascism, the Pope and gang crime are some of the topics covered in both fiction and non-fiction films, and it begins today with The Hummingbird, followed by a Q&A with the director. 9-13 March
POLISH FILM FESTIVAL: Now in its 21st year, the Kinoteka Polish Film Festival returns to venues across London, showcasing the best new and classic Polish films. The programme spans comedies, documentaries, and dramas, and kicks off tonight with a gala screening of Bread and Salt, followed by a Q&A with the actors involved. 9 March-27 April
WORLD-CHANGING INVENTIONS: Where would we be without smartphones, skyscrapers or spacecraft? Tonight at the Royal Institution find out about seven much simpler inventions, which led to us being able to complete these much more complex feats of engineering. Engineer and broadcaster Roma Agrawal celebrates the nail, spring, wheel, lens, magnet, string and pump. 7pm-8.30pm
Friday 10 March
WOMEN OF THE WORLD: Three-day festival Women of the World, celebrating women, girls and non-binary people opens at Southbank Centre, tackling topics including miscarriage, women's safety, fat activism, childcare costs and a history of Bengali activism. There's also a marketplace where you can browse and buy products from female-led businesses. 10-12 March
COUNTRY TO COUNTRY: Three days of country music comes to The O2 as Country To Country festival returns. Rising Nashville stars take to the stage between sets from headline acts including Thomas Rhett, Lady A and Zac Brown Band. 10-12 March
THE VICTORIAN CITY: Guildhall Library guide Pete Smith leads a guided walk through the City, focusing on art, science, finance, architecture and transport of the Victorian era, as well as the challenges that Victorians faced. 11am-1pm
RADICAL KENSINGTON: Alternatively, head west for your guided walk, where Richard Watkins explores the "bohemian enclave" north of Kensington High Street. Many boundary-pushing writers lived here, including Kenneth Grahame, GK Chesterton and James Joyce. The tour also points out the notable architecture in the area. 11am-1pm (repeats next Thur)
THE MAYFLOWER VILLAGE: Get to know Rotherhithe a bit better, on this guided walk which presents it as a small village, despite being located just 20 minutes walk from Tower Bridge. Find out about the Mayflower setting sail from here in 1620, the area's docks and warehouses, Charles Dickens' links to the area, and the Brunels' engineering feats. 2.30pm-4.30pm
VIVA CUBA!: Ronnie Scott's in Soho is most associated with jazz, but head upstairs on a Friday night for Viva Cuba!, a live music night celebrating the sounds of Cuba — of which Ronnie Scott himself was a fan. Band Sarabanda headlines tonight, fronted by Cuban singer Yuri Moreno. 6pm
Saturday 11 March
CRAFTERAMA: Head to Alexandra Palace for Crafterama, a weekend covering paper crafts, stamps, decoupage, beading, resin art, needle crafts and more. Exhibitors from all over the country show off their craft materials and tools, offering shed-loads of inspiration for your next project. 11-12 March
NORWOOD WOMEN: To tie in with International Women's Day, Lambeth Tour Guides are putting on a tour of the remarkable West Norwood Cemetery, highlighting the lives of some of the important people who rest there. "We aim to entertain with stories of women who were inspirational! Actors, poets, and even a story of an escaped nun." 12-1.30pm
CHEESE AND BEER TASTING: Cheese and wine is a common combo, so why not cheese and beer? That's the thinking at Wimbledon Brewery, which hosts a tasting session pairing seven artisan cheeses with beers created by a master brewer. Age 18+ (obviously). 1pm
LONDON TITANS: LGBTQ+ football team London Titans play East End Phoenix this afternoon. The action takes place at Barn Elms Sports Centre, and there's no need to buy a ticket — just show up. FREE, KO 2pm
ASTROPHOTOGRAPHY: Spend the evening with judges and astrophotographers involved in this year's Astronomy Photographer of the Year competition exhibition at the National Maritime Museum. Find out how incredible photos of space are taken, and view this year's exhibition of winning and shortlisted images. 6pm-8pm
GRACE CAMPBELL: Head to Alexandra Palace to see comedian Grace Campbell in her brand new show, A Show About Me(n), which tells the story of how she let go of her need for male validation. Age 16+. 7pm
FUNNY WOMEN: There's a double bill of comedy in a belated celebration of International Women's Day, at the Museum of Comedy today: Carmen Ali spills the beans (good, bad and ugly) about being a sex worker, followed by Spring Day, telling her story of joining a Christian cult at 13, before becoming a 'woman of the world'. 7pm and 8.30pm
KATE MOSSE: Author Kate Mosse brings her first one-woman show to ArtsDepot. Warrior Queens & Quiet Revolutionaries is part detective story, part love letter to history, with fun facts and mystery objects thrown in, and a preview of her new novel of the same name. 7.30pm
DARA Ó BRIAIN: Irish comedian and TV presenter Dara Ó Briain is at Croydon's Fairfield Halls for his latest show, So... Where Were We?, following on from his previous show which came to an end just before lockdown in March 2020. Expect stories, one-liners and some audience interaction — you've been warned. 8pm
Sunday 12 March
MIDCENTURY MODERN: Taking place at Dulwich College, the Midcentury Modern is an interiors show of 20th century furniture, soft furnishings, wallpaper, glassware and other items to kit out your home for a retro vibe, as well as pieces by modern designers. 85 dealers and designers are scheduled to attend. 10am-4pm
PECKHAM SALVAGE YARD: 60 traders rock up at the Bussey Building and Copeland Park for Peckham Salvage Yard, selling vintage clothes, 20th century furniture, salvaged homewares and a few oddities.11am-5pm
THE KING OF NOTHING: Take the family along to ArtsDepot for a performance of The King Of Nothing, a puppet musical inspired by the Emperor's New Clothes, about a vain king who's given a new suit to wear to an important parade. Suitable for ages 5+. 11am/2pm
ELIZABETH BLACKWELL: Chelsea Physic Garden marks International Women's Day with a talk about Elizabeth Blackwell, a Scottish botanical illustrator whose book was used as a reference work for physicians and apothecaries. Pamela Holmes, who has written a book about Blackwell, gives the talk. 11.30am
ACTON HISTORY: Acton once boasted five cinemas. Guide Nigel Smith offers a tour of the area's movie-going history, promising "Flea-pits, picture palaces and super-cinemas". You'll also stop by Acton's new community-led, punningly-named cinema, ActOne. 11.30pm
ST PATRICK'S PARADE: Central London becomes as sea of green as the St Patrick's Day Parade and Festival takes over the streets. Line the route between Hyde Park Corner and Trafalgar Square to watch the procession pass, then head to the finish line for a free festival of Irish culture. FREE, 12pm
LUST FOR LIFE: A supergroup of punk royalty, including Blondie drummer Clem Burke and former Sex Pistol and punk pioneer, Glen Matlock, celebrate the 45th anniversary of Iggy Pop's seminal Lust For Life album, by playing it live in full at the Lexington. 7.30pm
Urban oddity of the week
Lots going on at Alexandra Palace this week (see Saturday). If you're heading up for the craft fair, be sure to look out for this unique craft. Local artist Ben Wilson specialises in painting patterns onto pavement chewing gum. You can see his work in many places across town (including a motherlode on Millennium Bridge), but some of the best examples we've seen can be found in Alexandra Park. Eyes to the ground.
Good cause of the week
Project Water Fall is a small charity that raises awareness of water poverty around the world — particularly in coffee-growing communities. Their work helps people who have to walk for hours each day just to collect water. The charity is organising a Big Water Walk through London on World Water Day, 22 March. Participants will follow a 5km, 10km or 15km route along the Thames, depending on ability. In a further twist, you'll be asked to carry as much weight as you can manage, to reinforce the wider message. Find out more, and sign up for the fundraising event here.
