“Having a liberal fantasy is complicated.” The New York Times interviewed an Ohio man who, after President Trump was elected, opted to take extreme measures to stay up on precisely none of the news. (Well, except Cleveland Cavaliers basketball.) Lots of folks have thinkpieces out on this philosophy, but all miss one important point: This man will likely not ever read any of them, much less the Times article itself.

Speaking of lonely lifestyles... This Italian man has been the caretaker over a small island for most of his adult life. Now that ownership of the island has changed from privately held to the government, will he be allowed to stay?

Move over, ‘49ers... The ‘18ers are coming. Politico has an interesting look at people who are going to extreme lengths to mine bitcoins. And they’re using a ton of electricity to do it.

Inside a sushi restaurant. Here’s a fun video a man made by putting a camera on the conveyor belt at a sushi restaurant in Japan.

Can you buy a seat in Congress? Yeah you can try, but how successful are rich folks who self-fund their congressional campaigns? In Texas, the Houston Chronicle’s Jeremy Wallace observes that, since 2000, 86 percent of Texas candidates for office who have loaned their campaign $1 million or more have lost.

But what happens when they win? Reason’s famous video satirist Remy observes with a new song: “I Like it, I Love it.” Also, some get touchy, others get feely.

LeBron’s no-look pass. The Cavs might not go to the finals this year, but make no mistake: LeBron still is the best. This pass? Amazing.

Christine Rosen on The Remnant. As much as it will hurt my standing within the Substandard Extended Universe, here’s a link to our new managing editor, Christine Rosen, joining Jonah Goldberg as a guest on his “slightly failing” podcast. Not everything can be as good as the Weekly Substandard, but Jonah’s podcast is oh so close!

Save the date! Join us at the 2018 Weekly Standard Summit. This May 17-20 at the historic Broadmoor resort in Colorado Springs, join Stephen F. Hayes, Fred Barnes, and Michael Warren and special guests Bret Baier and A.B. Stoddard as they discuss the future of American politics. Book your tickets now.

—Jim Swift, deputy online editor.

—30—