1.  Two of Trump’s Security Detail Test Positive for COVID-19

 OUTBREAK WIDENS 

The nation’s highest-ranking military officer, Gen. Mark Milley, and others from the Joint Chiefs of Staff are now quarantining as a result.

2.  Trump Tried to Return to Oval Office After Discharge: Report

  MAKE QUARANTINE GREAT AGAIN 

Some Trump aides don’t want him to leave the White House but are unsure how long he'll keep self-isolating, sources told Bloomberg.

3.  Secure Your Family’s Online Browsing With This VPN

 AD BY NORDVPN 

Whether your student is learning in the classroom or the living room, use NordVPN to protect your devices from internet snoopers.

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4.  Stormy Daniels Punches Back at Melania Over ‘Hooker’ Diss

 TAKEDOWN 

“You sold your pussy AND your soul,” the porn star tweeted.

5.  Trump’s Doc Claims He ‘Reports No Symptoms’ After WH Return

 EVERYTHING IS FINE 

Trump appeared to be winded after climbing the steps to the White House on Monday evening to pose for a photo on the balcony.

6.  Since You're Cooking At Home More, Food Huggers Are a Must

 HUG IT OUT 

These silicone disks are the answer to storing basically anything in the fridge.

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7.  Kentucky AG Rips ‘Disgusting’ Megan Thee Stallion Clip

 ‘BEN CRUMP PLAYBOOK’ 

The Kentucky attorney general said Breonna Taylor’s family lawyer Ben Crump “cherry picks to prove” a narrative in order to create chaos and make money.

8.  Record-Breaking Hurricane Delta Quickly Turns Into Cat 4

 RAPIDLY STRENGTHENING 

Delta will be the 10th named storm to hit the U.S. in this year’s Atlantic hurricane season, which breaks a century-old record.

9.  Doc Used Own Sperm to Father 17 Kids Without Telling Parents

 IN THE DARK 

The late doctor, Jan Wildschut, has fathered at least 17 children with women who thought they were receiving anonymous donor sperm.

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10.  Facebook Removes COVID-Addled Trump’s False Flu Claims

 BACK TO SQUARE ONE 

The sickened president has summoned up the energy to mislead his followers about flu deaths, which are a fraction of COVID-19’s death toll—and Facebook pulled the plug.

11.  Want to Make $150? Watch ‘Saturday Night Live’ in Person

  LIVE FROM NEW YORK 

The venerated sketch show is apparently paying its audience members to comply with state guidelines.

12.  Rihanna Apologizes for Using Islamic Verses for Fenty Runway

 ‘HONEST, YET CARELESS MISTAKE’ 

The singer and fashion designer called it a “huge oversight.”

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13.  Cop Wrongly Claimed Breonna Taylor Was Holding Rifle: Report

 ‘CONFLICTING INFORMATION’ 

Former Louisville Police Chief Steve Conrad said he was falsely told by officer at the scene that Breonna Taylor was armed and opened fire on officers.

14.  Black Hole Masterminds Win 2020 Nobel Prize in Physics

 GALAXY BRAIN 

Roger Penrose, Reinhard Genzel, and Andrea Ghez have all had major parts to play in helping to unravel the mystery of black holes.

15.  Kyrgyzstan Vote Invalidated After Crowd Storms Parliament

 PROTESTS WORK 

This weekend’s election was marred by widespread claims of vote-buying on behalf of the country’s pro-Russia president.

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