| Dear John, A cold wind blows here in the Northeast, causing the tree branches to sway under the midday sun. Watching them move back and forth in unison becomes a calming meditation until a bluebird appears on the windowsill rivaling the sky with its cerulean wings. What an unexpected delight! I’ve grown fond of staring out the window. It’s something I do when I’m mulling over a decision or trying to clear my head of meaningless distractions. I follow the clouds and airplanes as they float across the sky, allowing my mind to settle and make space for wisdom and insight. These days I have a lot to ponder. I’m quite taken with exploring the wisdom years and all that’s involved in aging well. Yesterday morning, I led a three-hour workshop for a Unity Church near Portland, Maine, and enjoyed every minute of our conversation about the topic. We spoke about navigating the care of elderly parents who are resistant to change and the need to establish boundaries when feeling stuck in the middle of tending to grown or disabled children, parents, and/or partners. We discussed knowing that it’s time to give up long-held identities that feel comfortable and familiar yet resisting the call for something new. And we talked about a desire for communities where people who are invested in personal growth and the evolution of consciousness can live together to support one another as they enjoy their elder years. When I arrived home, I unpacked my bag, made a late lunch, and went to sit in my favorite chair by a window overlooking the lake. As I watched people ice fishing, I was aware that my ego (the doer) was chomping at the bit to create a program or workshop of some sort – a response to the energy and enthusiasm of these conversations. But a deeper part of me wanted something different. It wanted me to wait, to sit still and trust Life to dictate what’s next at the right time and in the right way. Making a great life means making wise choices that require us to gently constrain the doer from taking charge. Putting space between the impulse to act and doing so gives us time to experience what an “absolute yes” feels like. This is how we live a more soul-directed life. As I write about the wisdom years in this blog, host Zoom gatherings with our community, and consider new ideas like a podcast, I can feel in my bones that something different is trying to emerge and I intend to let it happen in its own way and at its own pace. I’ll keep conducting research and will host another Zoom gathering soon. In the meantime, I’ll hold tight to the wisdom of constraint and patience. Our conversation last week about exploring friendship in the wisdom years was a helpful look at what it takes to build a new kind of soul family. Please enjoy listening to it here. Love,
Cheryl P.S. – Discover new ways to practice good self-care in your wisdom years by listening to the audio workshop, Self Care for the Wisdom Years. You can learn more here.
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