When I was in college, I never went home for Yom Kippur. I tried to sleep late in my dorm to make the fast (seem) shorter, then spent most of the day in services at Yale's Battell Chapel, where my friend Jamie Feldman and I would whisper alternate lyrics to the "u'netenah tokef" prayer.  Instead of "who by fire and who by water, who by sword and who by wild beast," we would make up dumb ways to die --  long before that became a viral YouTube thing. Who by not looking both ways before they cross the street? Who by leaning too far back in her chair? Who by having something go down the wrong pipe? 

This year, u'netenah tokef is all too real. Who by this awful virus, who by police brutality, who for lack of food, who in deep isolation -- and, yes, who by fire in the northwestern United States, who by water in the southeast. Far, far too many people, including  Ruth Bader Ginsburg, my tikkun olam hero Freddie Pressman, my first spin teacher Ellen Grishman.

Making our prayers personal also makes them powerful. A few weeks ago, I asked you to share what you're repenting for this year, and 127 of you responded -- this word cloud is made up of your words . You wrote about being ungrateful, or not accepting people as they are. About not doing enough to fight injustice. Working too much and neglecting family or taking friends for granted. A number of you said you had wished ill on others -- people who don't wear masks, people who support the politician you despise, people who talk too slowly. You lamented your procrastination, your impatience, your pessimism. We'll be sharing these on social media throughout the 25-hour Yom Kippur fast, for those who are online. Here is a taste: 

For the sins we committed by ...
...being snarky, being impatient with a new learner, being annoyed with people who don't do things my way, or on my timeframe.
...interrupting people when they are talking...being impatient with people who think or speak more slowly than I like...being intolerant of people who talk incessantly and cannot tolerate silence...being judgmental....preferring to remain invisible in my comnunity. 
...neglecting to acknowledge people who help me.
...saying "yes" to too many thing.
...procrastinating by surfing.
...wishing that Trump and people in the current administration would contract Covid-19.
...blaming others instead of looking at myself ... not appreciating I'm an introvert and asking too much of myself socially...negative thinking that loops and grows...sometimes forgetting that I'm in God's hands.
...hiding from myself.
...not being authentic.
...reading The New York Times right before I fall asleep only to wake up at 3 a.m. with my heart pounding through my chest.
...in answering voicemails with texts.
...letting fear take over.
...not listening...not validating another person's right to an opinion.
...not seeing the humanity in those closest to me.
...not going through the boxes.
...lying to my husband rather than having the argument.
...noticing the terribly thin woman crouched by the side of the road, but not turning around and driving back to help her with money and masks, both of which I keep in my car to give away to folks like her.
...not holding others accountable for racism.
...by giving teenage eye-rolls to groups larger than 10 not wearing masks.
...yelling at my kids, whom I love more than anything. Sigh.
...lying to myself about my sexuality.
...feeling more comfortable when I'm in my Jewish bubble than when I'm not.
...being too proud to acknowledge my mistakes.
...telling selected versions of the truth when I wanted something to go my way...trying to control the lives of other people and trying to be in total control of my own life...being a people pleaser.
...not savoring the blessings. 

We've also published some other personalized versions of the "Al Cheyt" prayer, like this one for white Jews, from our partners at JewishBoston.com, and this 2019 classic about digital sins by our former staff writer Jenny Singer. If you're making a big break-fast -- or dreaming about the bigger break-fast you'll make when socially-distancing is behind us, you'll want to read this roundup of chef's reflections by Liza Schoenfein, and also watch this video of the event I hosted on Tuesday featuring our Lox Columnist, Len Berk, and Melissa Clark of NYT Cooking. (Asked how he learned to slice fish, Len, who is 90, offered this pro-tip, equally applicable to lox and life: "You learn by doing it.") 

Of course we have spent much of the past week focused on Justice Ginsburg. Our marketing chief, Deena Kuperman, and designer, Angelie Zaraslavsky, have created a special eBook of Forward coverage as a gift for new subscribers. Watch your inbox next week for a special offer: 25% off a year's subscription plus the eBook. In the meantime, I've put Talya Zax's memorable meditation on Ginsburg's public Judaism into the PDF you can download and print via the blue button below -- perfect reading on or before Yom Kippur. Also in there: Rob Eshman's look at why Zoom, then Facebook, and ultimately YouTube declined to host a talk by a Palestinian terrorist and what happens next;  a first cut at virtual Rosh Hashanah attendance; a review of Deborah Tannen's memoir; an essay about bridging political chasms within families; Vivien Sansour's take on a Palestinian noodle dish; and the latest Bintel Brief ("His mother died and I never called").  
 

We also had a special edition of "Women on the Week" on Thursday featuring Abbe Gluck, one of the scores of Justice Ginsburg's former clerks who gathered in Washington to help memorialize their mentor. Abbe talked about sitting vigil by Ginsburg's body at midnight, and how this Supreme Court custom dovetails with a sacred Jewish tradition, and also about the many facets of RBG's legacy -- trailblazing the entire field of gender-equity law, yes, but also modeling a loving, egalitarian marriage; respectful friendship across ideologies; a full life that included opera and exercise; accessibility to an adoring public; and the (very Jewish) value of dissent. Please click here to watch the (short! only 30 minutes!) video, and here to sign up for the weekly Zoomversation.   

Thanks to the 778 of you who had signed up so far for the Forward's first virtual gala as of this writing. It's Oct. 19th at 8:30 p.m. ET, and we've just announce that Y-Love and Kosha Dillz will be on the program, along with violinist Miri Ben-Ami, the actress Mayim Bialik, comedians Yisrael Campbell, Avi Liberman and our emcee Jessica Kirson. "Admission" is free so help us spread the word wide, but your donations -- and auction bids -- power our journalism. There's never been a more important time to support the Forward. 

Seriously, folks. Don't take independent, high-quality journalism for granted, don't assume Jewish publications will always be there for you. The Jewish Advocate, which was my first taste of Jewish news growing up in Boston, announced this week it was ceasing print publication after 118 years. Though the paper had made it "through wars, revolutions, depressions and other calamities and hardships" over more than a century, the editors wrote on the front page of their final issue, "the virtual disappearance" of advertising since the pandemic "has not been sufficiently offset by contributions." Maybe add to your personal al cheyt, "For the sin I committed by not realizing the things I value cost money to produce..."

Shabbat Shuva Shalom, and g'mar chatimah tovah,


Jodi Rudoren
Editor-in-Chief
rudoren@forward.com