Why I Quit Social Media

It's Not That Big of a Deal

Last month, I quit social media, leaving my accounts on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook still up but deleting the apps and logging out. I haven’t looked back since.

Right before quitting , I left a final message and watched some of the comments roll in, many of them saying they were contemplating a similar move, which only underscored my belief that many people are on social media simply because many people are on it.

A couple months ago, I wrote an article about quitting social media and just held on to it—because I wasn’t ready to commit. After making the leap, however, I revisited some of my reasons (listed below) and realized that, just as in the case of many other difficult choices, I should have done this a long time ago.

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It’s been surprisingly nice to focus most of my online time on writing, work, and email I like what it’s made possible. My life feels simpler and quieter. Granted, this may not be the right choice for everyone, but it may be helpful to hear why I did what I did.

Here’s why I quit social media:

It didn’t make me feel good.

It brought out the worst in me (and maybe other people, too). I know a lot of smart, interesting people; but whenever I saw them online, they seemed to be doing stupid, immature, and selfish things. Granted, I was only seeing a small sliver of who they were, represented through a pretty skewed filter. But that’s the point. I wasn’t seeing my friends as they were; I was seeing them through a vary warped lens, and I didn’t like the ugly thoughts I had about other people, some of whom I really cared for. It felt gross.

It stole my time. Being active on a number of social platforms was a bigger distraction than I realized. It didn’t take a ton of time, but the act of checking in on these various apps diffused my attention multiple times each day. The constant context switching removed me from whatever moment that was calling for my attention—whether it was work, family, or personal time—and once I got stuck scrolling, I couldn’t easily stop. More than once a week, I’d go through all the apps I had on my phone, checking for—I don’t know, something—then get to the end of the list and sometimes cycle through once or twice more. It was a vicious loop that stole twenty minutes here and thirty minutes there.

It made me jealous, triggering the part of myself that wants to compete and compare, which left me feeling… not great(see #1).

I’m not good at it. All the things that “work” on social media tend to not be things I enjoy doing, i.e. posting memes, staying up on current events, being consistent, and so on. I’d rather focus my time and energy on something that I am at least decent at in hopes of getting better. Which is why I spend most of my online time either working, corresponding with friends and colleagues, or writing here.

Whenever I would stop, my life got better. Every time I went back, I didn’t like myself as much (ahem, don’t forget #1).

It’s not the real world. In fact, social media is not even a representative of the real world. It is, in fact, more like a confederation of independent nations that acknowledge each other’s existence but don’t trade or communicate well with each other. And those nations, lest you forget, are only one planet in a solar system of planets within a universe that is much, much larger than a handful of places where people can’t seem to agree or think that deeply. You get the metaphor. Social media, from my perspective, seems to be a very condensed aspect of a particular part of human nature with a huge magnifying glass over only a handful of people’s lives. It’s not real life; it’s a performance masquerading as something resembling real life.

It’s weird. Like, why do we watch people who shout life hacks at their phone while walking down the street? Why should we take such people seriously? Every time I would get on Instagram, I said to my wife, “This is weird.” I didn’t get it, anymore. Maybe I’m just getting old, but really it has always felt a bit funny to me. Didn’t anyone else notice the strangeness of this dream-like existence? For years, I felt that I just had to play the game. But as the personal cost to keep up continued to increase for me, the juice was no longer worth the squeeze.

I don’t need it. I don’t have to play the game anymore. I don’t need social media to make money; I don’t need it to share my ideas; I don’t need it to make my work succeed. It takes far more than it gives. I can share my photos on my newsletter. I can send emails to my subscribers. My real friends can call or text me. If I want to post videos on the Internet, I can do that via YouTube. I’m on Substack because it’s a community of writers and creators—people who are making things, not just vying for attention (granted, there’s some of that, too)—but it feels fresh and pure to me. And for now, it works for me. If this community ever becomes something that doesn’t resonate, well, hopefully I’ll have the courage and experience from this shift to say sayonara and move in whatever new direction feels right then.

I wanted to. Why? See Reason #1.

What, exactly, did this make possible? I’ll share more in the coming months, as it’s still a new change; but the biggest revelation is that this was no big deal. It was easy to say goodbye, I don’t miss it, and my mind feels a little lighter, a little more clear, a little more at ease every single day. And that’s worth more than you can know.

Does this mean you should quit social media?

I have no idea. That’s up to you. I’m not doing this for some moralistic crusade about privacy or because I watched a documentary. It’s far simpler and far more selfish than that. I just don’t want to do it anymore. Rarely does life get worse by dropping excess activities that take time and energy you can’t easily justify.

A good lesson I’ve learned from making big changes in recent years is that it may be hard to quit a thing; but once you do it, you’ll quickly see if it was worth the cost. Worst case scenario, you can always go back to how it was before. Few decisions are actually as permanent as they might seem in the moment. Some are, but quitting social media is not one of them.

Good luck,

Jeff

P.S. Been contemplating making a similar leap? Want to share this with a friend? Click the button below to spread the word in whatever way feels good to you. I like the good old-fashioned foward-to-a-friend approach. It’s old school but one of the best ways to share something meaningful.

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